Obliviate
by Love the Brightest Star
Summary: The year is 1977, the place is London. Alone in his new apartment for the Christmas holidays, Sirius is bored out of his wits. To cure his boredom, he decides to meet up with his friend and his best friend's girlfriend, Lily. But what he had not expected was her being attacked, and the consequences of the accident that will turn both their lives upside down.
1. If You Are Lonely

**Hi everyone! Here's another multichapter story I've come up with. Hope you enjoy it! :)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

* * *

 **Chapter 1 – If You Are Lonely**

The steam covered platform was filled with students, who stood in front of the scarlet Hogwarts Express, exchanging last minute goodbyes or greeting their parents.

"See you in two weeks, mate," Sirius Black was saying to his best friend James Potter.

"Sorry for not being able to stay with you, Pads," James replied. "I didn't want to go attend this darned wedding in the first place, but I couldn't talk mum and dad out of it."

"It's just fine, Prongs. I need to look over my flat too, and besides, and all of Mum Potter's cooking is fattening me up. Go have fun in there," Sirius said playfully. "Who knows, you might get some pretty birds to see," he added mischievously, despite knowing full well that his friend was going to do nothing of the sort.

"Nah, Lily is good enough to keep my eyes off any other woman for the rest of my life. Hey Lily!" he called to the aforementioned witch, who was talking to her best friend's mother. "Come over and meet my parents."

Lily excused herself from the lady and walked over to the two. She looked very nervous at the prospect of meeting her boyfriend's parents. James steered the two of them to the spot from where Mr. and Mrs. Potter were waving at their son. Mrs. Potter pulled her son into an affectionate hug while Mr. Potter clapped Sirius on the back.

"Mum, dad, this is Lily," James introduced his girlfriend. His mother beamed.

"So you are Lily, my dear. James has told so much about you. I am really glad you two finally got together."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Potter, Mrs. Potter," Lily greeted them shyly.

Mr. Potter, a tall man with messy grey hair, which must have been black in earlier times, smiled down at her.

"So you are the girl whom James has been pining after since eleven," he said, his eyes twinkling. "Nice to meet you. You have got really beautiful hair, by the way."

Lily' cheeks turned pink. "Thank you," she mumbled.

"It's a pity that we have to go to my niece's wedding; otherwise I would have asked you to stay at our place over the holidays. But you must come and stay with us for Easter, dear."

"Thank you, Mrs. Potter. I'd love to," Lily smiled.

"And you," Mrs. Potter turned to Sirius. "Are you perfectly sure you will be all right? You can come with us if you want."

"Oh, mum," Sirius sighed, grinning. "You care too much. I am a big boy now. I will take care of myself."

"Very well, but careful," Mrs. Potter pulled him into a tight hug. "Don't get into trouble."

"Mum!" Sirius feigned hurt. "You know I am the quiet, obedient type. How can I possibly cause trouble? It is beyond my capacity."

Everyone in the little party rolled their eyes at that.

"See you at Hogwarts, then," James said, giving his best friend a brotherly hug and Lily a quick kiss. The three Potters waved and began pushing the trolley out.

"Oi, Moony!" Sirius called to his other best friend, who was standing nearby. "Write to us, okay? You too, Wormtail!"

The said boys nodded and waved, grinning, before walking off with their parents. On cue, Lily and Sirius began walking towards the barrier.

"So, Flower," Sirius grinned at his new best friend. "What are your plans these hols?"

Lily shrugged. "I didn't really want to go home, Sirius. But Petunia is getting married this summer, so mum thought we should get some sisterly bonding done before she goes away to live with Vermin."

"Vermin?" Sirius snorted.

"That's my future brother in law. His real name is Vernon Dursley," Lily grimaced. "He is this big, fat man with no neck and a spectacular moustache. Honestly, he looks like a bloody walrus."

Sirius chuckled. "Sounds like quite a piece of work."

Lily scowled, resembling a thundercloud. "Oh, sure. You wouldn't like to meet him."

"On the contrary, I would like to see this Vernon very much," Sirius said lightly. "He deserves a gift or two from us Marauders. I think a dungbomb or two ought to be more than enough." He looked her in the eyes. "Anyway, Lils, it is clear to me that you didn't want to go home. Why didn't you try to put it off?"

"Oh, I could have put mum off with an excuse, but all of you were leaving, so I didn't try to push it. Who wants to be stuck alone in the castle with a bunch of Slytherins?"

"Aww, Lily Flower, if I had known, I would have stayed back with you," Sirius replied. "Refurnishing the flat was just an excuse to escape boredom and loneliness."

It was true. Sirius could easily have spent Christmas at Hogwarts; in fact, he had been planning to do so. But then James had got an invitation to his cousin's wedding, Remus' parents had planned a holiday trip to the mountains, and Peter simply wanted to spend the holidays with his mother. So, left alone, Sirius had decided to go off to London and decorate (at least try to do so) his new flat, which he had bought with the money his uncle Alphard had left him. He was planning to move in to the apartment after graduating. Maybe Prongs would join him.

"See you, then, Sirius," Lily smiled. "My parents are here."

Sirius nodded. "Have a nice holiday, Lils. Give my love to Petty and Vermin."

He laughed as Lily made a face, and began pushing his trolley outside platform nine and three-quarters. Generally he would be accompanied by James' parents, (his parents had made no effort to communicate with him ever since he ran away in the beginning of his sixth year, and he was rather glad.) but this time he was alone. He sighed, and grabbing hold of his belongings, turned on the spot, only to appear at the doorstep of his flat. He had passed his apparition test last year, so travelling was much easier now.

He opened the door and entered. The first thought that crossed his mind was that he would have done better to stay at school. At least troubling the Slytherins would have been more productive than living alone in this boring apartment. The flat had been furnished to his tastes, but he had failed to add any personal touches to it in the brief visit he had paid it in August. There was a bed and couches and other necessities, as well as a television and a few other muggle contraptions that he was fond of. The walls remained a dull white, and plain dark curtains hung at windows. Groaning, he began dumping his things in his bedroom, preparing himself for the dullest Christmas he had ever spent.

By nightfall, he felt that he would surely die of boredom soon. He had tried talking to James through his mirror, but his best friend had had to run away at his mother's call after a mere ten minutes. He had attempted to watch something on the TV, but neither the soppy romantic movies nor the dull muggle news had roused any interest. Finally, he had taken recluse in bed. After hours of staring at the ceiling, he sat up, and tried to think of a solution. He needed his friends; he desperately needed them. But where were they when you wanted them? James and Remus were off to distant lands, gallivanting away their time. Peter...well... Peter wasn't quite the person with whom Sirius would like to spend his day alone. He went on thinking, all his contemplations coming to naught. Was there no one who could save him?

Suddenly, the image of a girl with flaming red hair and green eyes appeared in his head. Yes, Lily Evans was the perfect person to have fun with. Why, she could even help him with selecting the colours for his walls and taking care of other little details. He remembered the time when James and he were arguing over the colour of the t-shirt they should get Peter for his birthday.

 _"Red!" Sirius insisted. "It's Gryffindor. Peter will like it."_

 _"Red's too gaudy on Wormtail," James scoffed. "Purple will be better."_

 _"Honestly, James, purple? Ugh!"_

 _Just then, Lily, who was listening in, said, "I think blue would be nice." And then she walked off to her dormitory, smiling slightly._

 _Both James and Sirius froze for a second, and then turned to each other._

 _"She is right, you know," Sirius said slowly. "Blue's perfect."_

 _"Absolutely! She is brilliant," James exclaimed._

Back in the present, Sirius jumped up and hurried to his desk, and began writing a letter to Lily. After finishing, he tied it to the leg of his tawny owl.

"Take this to Lily, okay?"

The owl hooted in acknowledgement, and then took flight. Work done, Sirius returned to his bed. All he had to do now was wait for the reply.

Lily did not take long to send her reply. At dinner time, Sirius' owl tapped at his window. He let her in and took the letter attached to its leg.

 _Dear Sirius_ , it read,

 _I'll be happy to join you at Diagon Alley tomorrow. Will ten thirty in the morning do? I will be outside Quality Quidditch Supplies. I am glad you offered to spend the day out with me, actually. It's only one day in Petunia and Vernon's company, but I am already half-mad by now. Can't wait to see you tomorrow._

 _With love,_

 _Lily._

 _P.S. Your owl is really funny, rather like you, I think!_

Sirius penned down a quick reply agreeing to her terms and sent off his owl with it. He then went to bed, smiling. The next day was much more promising than the one that had just ended.

-o0o-

Sirius hurriedly shoved a piece of toast into his mouth while putting on his jacket. He had spent the last half an hour fending off a rather stubborn salesman who had been incessantly trying to force him to get a 'life insurance' (Merlin knows what that thing is) despite his insistence that he was not interested in the least. Now he was definitely going to be late. Lily would not be pleased; she was a stickler for punctuality. He locked the door of the flat, and turned on the spot, appearing in front of the Leaky Cauldron. He looked at his watch. It was ten thirty five. Thank Merlin; he was only five minutes late. Hopefully Lily won't be too angry.

He tapped the bricks of the wall that led to the entrance of Diagon Alley, his eyes scanning the streets for a glimpse of red hair. He reached the Quality Quidditch Supplies, where a bunch of young boys were ogling the latest model of broomstick. But there was no redhead standing there.

 _Perhaps she got held up somewhere_ , he thought nonchalantly.

But as the hands of his watch crossed ten forty five and neared eleven, he began to grow anxious. Where was Lily? Slowly, Sirius began strolling around, trying to locate her somewhere in the crowd. He met nothing unusual, nor anyone he knew, until his peripheral vision caught a glimpse of red in a dark, narrow lane by Eeylops. Puzzled, he turned and squinted into the darkness. Someone lay sprawled in the ground in a corner of the alley. His heartbeat sped up, and he hurried to look at the person. The individual, a female, lay face down, her limbs stuck in an awkward angle. Red hair spread over her back like a coppery cascade. Sirius' spine went cold. Although the person's face wasn't visible, there was no mistaking the striking shade of red hair. His heart hammering in his chest, he turned over the body. It was none other than Lily Evans.

Sirius could feel his head spinning. She couldn't be dead... She must not die...

"Please be alive, Lily. Don't die, please don't die," he prayed fervently as he searched for her heartbeat. He almost cried in relief when he felt the erratic lub-dub of her heart. He brushed her hair back, squinting at her expressionless face.

"Wake up, Lily," he implored, but her head lolled hopelessly in his arms. He needed to get her to a safe place. His frantic brain instantly formed the image of his flat, and he stood up, cradling her frail body, and disapparated to his home.

* * *

 **How's it, then? Tell me. Please review.**


	2. Blank Slate

**And here's the second chapter. Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, favourited and followed this story. Here's hoping I won't be disappointing you :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 2 – Blank Slate**

As soon as his feet touched solid ground, Sirius checked the woman in his arms. She looked paler than ever; a trickle of blood was dripping down her forehead.

He carefully set her on his bed, and began looking for her wounds. He had learnt a few healing spells, and he set to work at once. Her right sleeve was drenched in blood; he drew it back and hissed. Her creamy white arm was covered with a criss-cross of deep cuts, from which blood was flowing almost freely. It looked as if someone had used her as a knife-sharpener.

Sirius wanted nothing more than to search out and murder the culprit in the most brutal way possible, but unfortunately there was no way he could do it. Firstly, he did not know who Lily's attacker had been, although he strongly suspected it to be his cousin Bellatrix; it seemed just like her piece of work. He remembered how she had once slashed open his arm because he had been talking to a muggle, enjoying how the blood had dripped from his wound and how he had yelped in pain. Besides, he needed to tend to Lily.

Focusing on that purpose, he calmed himself with an effort, and concentrated on healing her wounds. A few minutes later, Lily's arm was healed, all traces of the injury gone. He looked for further wounds; there were a few burns and bruises scattered over her body, which he healed with touches of his wand. He was glad that he had learnt the healing spells; they had originally been mastered for the purpose of healing himself and James after full moon nights (Peter hardly ever suffered injuries, as he was, after all, a rat, and stayed out of the wolf's grasp), but they had proved useful to him on several occasions. He wiped off the congealed blood from Lily's forehead, and finally when it seemed that she was completely healed, he got up and threw off his shirt, which had blood all over it.

He had barely turned his back to her, when he heard a faint moan. Lily was stirring. He rushed over to her and kneeled by her side. After a few seconds, her eyes fluttered open.

"Lily!" he said softly. "Are you all right? Thank Merlin, I thought you were never going to wake up."

"I – I am okay," she said slowly, green eyes full of confusion. "Where am I?"

"This is my flat, Lils. You were hurt, and this was the first place I thought of."

She nodded, still looking confused. She tried to sit up, but winced slightly as she straightened.

"Careful there," Sirius said, and helped her up. "Does it hurt?"

"A bit, but it's okay. Er –" she was teetering on the verge of saying something, but seemed hesitant to say it out loud.

"What is it, Flower? Tell me," he prompted.

"Well," she began with uncharacteristic shyness. "Thank you for everything you've done... You seem to know me well, but if you don't mind, could you tell me, er – who are you?"

Sirius could feel his jaw drop.

"What?" he asked faintly. She blushed and looked at her feet. "I am sorry, I didn't mean to –"

"No, Lily, it's all right," he said with a forced smile, though things were far from all right. "I am Sirius Black. I am your housemate at Hogwarts, in the same year. You remember Hogwarts, right?"

She nodded, but her confusion did not abate. "In the same year as me? But Sirius –" she paused for a fraction of a second to confirm his name, "– how can this be possible? I haven't started Hogwarts as yet."

This second shock hit him like a tidal wave.

"Lily," he almost whispered. "What is today's date?"

She appeared to be puzzled at this sudden question. "The twenty first of August, 1971, isn't it?"

Sirius didn't know whether he was having a nightmare or not. He desperately hoped that he was, and that he would wake up to find that it was eight thirty, and hurry off to meet Lily. He blinked a couple of times, even pinched himself, but the confused young woman before his eyes didn't disappear.

"No, Lily," he said. "It's twenty first December, 1977."

Her eyes widened in disbelief. As a proof, Sirius took up a mirror and held it before her.

"See, you are seventeen, not eleven."

She nodded in agreement, but her eyes were filled with shock and insecurity.

"But I d-don't remember – anything," she stammered. "Wh-what will I do, Sirius?"

Sirius took a few deep breaths. They needed a plan. Finally, after managing to calm himself a little, he addressed Lily.

"Okay, Lily," he said. "Sit down and calm down. Don't worry; we will find a way out of this."

Lily nodded, looking slightly reassured. He seated himself beside her. "Now, tell me what you remember."

She began. "Well, I remember everything till twenty first of August, 1971, as I told you. I remember my parents, my home at Cokeworth. I also remember getting my Hogwarts letter. As far as I can recall, last day, my parents and I went to Diagon Alley to do my shopping for Hogwarts. I don't remember anything onwards."

"So you don't remember anything about your life at Hogwarts?"

She shook her head. Sirius began thinking out a plan. The first thing that came into his mind was admitting her to St. Mungo's. He rose out of his seat and opened his mouth to tell her of his idea, but an old memory which stirred in the depths of his mind made him clamp his jaw shut.

 _He was only eight when he had gone with Uncle Alphard to visit an old great-aunt, who was down with dragon pox, at St. Mungo's. After his fidgeting by the sickbed for about fifteen minutes, Alphard turned to him._

 _"Sit quietly for a while, Sirius," he said, although he looked amused at his nephew's antics._

 _"Can't I go around and explore the place?" he moaned. "This is boring."_

 _"All right, you can go grab a snack from the cafe, but only if you promise not to disturb others."_

 _"Promise!" he squealed and ran out, crying "Thanks, uncle!" in his wake._

 _He followed the instructions given on the board to locate the cafeteria. He was only a floor below his destination, when he saw a woman peering at him with a strange expression._

 _"Er_ – _what...?" he approached her apprehensively, when she suddenly she pounced on him with a cry and enveloped him in a bone crushing hug._

 _"Oh, my son!" she cried. "I have been looking for you everywhere! Why did you leave your poor mother alone?"_

 _"Leggo...am not...son..." he gasped, choking from the lack of oxygen._

 _Suddenly, a voice rang in the corridor, "Belinda, Belinda are you there?" A motherly looking healer appeared at the place._

 _"Oh, Belinda, you naughty girl, what are you assaulting this poor boy for?" she reprimanded. The strange woman released Sirius from her death grip, and turned to the healer._

 _"This is my son!" she announced, with a manic grin on her face. The healer looked surprised._

 _"You are?" she enquired._

 _"No!" he replied hurriedly. "I don't even know her."_

 _The healer nodded understandingly, and then began ushering the patient into a ward named 'Janus Thickey ward for permanent spell damage'. After the protests of the woman had died down and she had been safely put to bed, the healer turned to a very shaken Sirius._

 _"Sorry about that, dear. But she has lost her mind, poor lass. She does gather her bearings sometimes, but half of them are all wrong." she shook her head sadly._

 _"Can't_ – _can't you do a spell to heal her?" Sirius asked._

 _"No, son. Such damages don't have any cure...we have to wait till the persons recall their past, get back their sanity or heal from whatever damage has been done to them. Some can do it, others can't. They have to stay here forever."_

 _Sirius stared into the ward with undisguised horror. Beds were lined up along the walls, and were occupied by witches and wizards. Some were covered in strange warts or hairs; others were babbling to themselves or just staring at the ceiling. It was to say the least, a sad sight._

 _"See that young lass over there?" the healer pointed at a young woman at a corner. She was around twenty five, and was very beautiful. She was staring at her hands with a blank expression. Sirius nodded._

 _"She was very talented, was about to marry a good lad. But then she got hurt in an accident, and lost much of her memory," she said sadly._

 _"So...she will stay here forever?" Sirius whispered. The healer nodded._

 _"She is recovering, but her progress is too slow. I don't know if she will ever make it out of here. All we can do is let her live here, and see if she can naturally recall her past."_

Sirius jerked himself out of the terrible memory. He imagined Lily in place of the girl, her life ruined, left alone to fend off her time. No, he could not send her to St. Mungo's. They would lock her up and do nothing. That could not be done.

He thought of calling James, but a thought of how devastated he would be to find that the girl whom he had finally won over after so many efforts had no recollections of him, made him change his mind. He finally came to the conclusion that it would be best that she stay with him in the flat for the time being. Perhaps her memories would return if he told her about the days that were now missing from her mind.

"Er – Lily?" he said tentatively. She had been staring at her feet with an expression which reminded him with a pang of the young patient. At his voice, she jumped and looked up.

"Yes?"

"Would you mind staying with me for the rest of your holidays? I could try to help you recall your memories."

She nodded and said with a small smile, "That would be nice. Thanks."

He got up and pulled out a shirt from his wardrobe. He turned, and found her staring at his bare torso. She looked down and blushed when he caught her looking.

"See something you like, Evans?" he smirked, bracing himself for the regular, "Shut up, Black." He looked at her, surprised, when it did not come. She was still looking at the floor, her cheeks pink. He sighed. He missed the old Lily Evans.

"So, er – I am going to your parents to get your stuff."

She simply nodded.

"Don't fall out of the window, okay?" he teased as he turned to leave.

Her eyes narrowed. "I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. And if my presence bothers you then perhaps I should –"

He just laughed and shook his head. Perhaps she hadn't changed so much after all.

"Take care. I will be back soon," he said, and turned on the spot.

Soon he was standing at the doorstep of the Evans' household. Hoping that he looked presentable, he forced a smile on his lips, and rang the doorbell. The door opened, revealing Mrs. Evans.

"Ah, Sirius!" she smiled. "How nice of you to drop by. Isn't Lily with you?"

Sirius tried to look nonchalant. "Actually, that's what I came here for, Mrs. Evans. I am terribly lonely in my apartment; you know, all my friends are out, so would it be all right if Lily stayed with me for the rest of the Christmas holidays?"

He expected her to decline, but her reply surprised him.

"Oh, thank God you asked, Sirius! Of course you can take her."

His surprise must have shown on his face, because she hastened to explain, "It's not that I don't want her to be with us for Christmas; in fact, that's what I had been planning, but she and Petunia quarrelled all day long yesterday, and Vernon's presence doesn't help, either. Now Petunia has declared that if Lily stays here at Christmas, she will leave. I really love Lily, and I want her to be at Christmas, but Petunia will no longer stay with us after next summer, so I can't possibly send her away, can I?"

Her eyes beseeched him to understand her, and she sounded almost tearful now. Sirius put on his best smile and said gently, "It's okay, Mrs. Evans, I understand. You don't have any option, after all. Of course it is not your fault."

Mrs. Evans gave him a sudden hug.

"Thanks," she murmured. "You need to take her stuff, isn't it? It's upstairs, in her room."

He followed her onto the house. Vernon was sitting at the dining table; he was every bit as huge as Lily had described. Sirius had a sudden urge to chuck a dungbomb at him, but keeping in mind the gravity of his situation, he stopped himself. After taking Lily's trunk and other necessities, he thanked Mrs. Evans and disapparated to his flat.


	3. Flickers

**Hello all! M back! Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, favourited and followed this story. Hope you are liking where it goes. And a special thanks to Paulaa90 for reviewing both chapters.**

 **Just mentioning: I don't have a clinical idea of amnesia, how it happens and how to deal with it. What I am writing is just my own idea; it might be incorrect, but I hope you don't mind.**

 **For those who are excited about finding out who hurt Lily, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but it won't be focused on much. I will tell who did it, but this story...it won't depend much on that. Anyway, moving on to the next chapter...**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 3 – Flickers**

"What are you doing?" Lily asked as Sirius sat down at the coffee table and laid several books and parchments in front of him. Sirius had talked to her about various things throughout the afternoon, and by now, the initial awkwardness and hesitation that Lily had about her had long since abated. Sirius had been astonished at how quickly she had warmed up to him when it had taken her nearly six and a half years to do so last time; but he was very glad of that; he couldn't possibly afford to wait six years for her to come around to him. Now, she looked just as comfortable around Sirius as she had been at school this year. Had it not been for the harsh fact that she still appeared clueless when he asked her about something at Hogwarts, he would have dismissed the events of the morning as just a bad dream.

Sirius kept wondering what the cause of Lily's memory loss could have been. Since she remembered nothing about her life first year onwards, let alone the events of the morning, there was no point in asking her about it. On the contrary, telling her about the attack might disturb her. Sirius was walking a very fine line with Lily Evans, and there was no way he could let the balance be broken. And besides, he thought, what would that lead to? Although his hand still twitched now and then towards his wand, reflecting his desire to search out who had hurt Lily, it would be a pointless endeavor. Lily was a muggleborn; Sirius wasn't unaware of the dangers they faced in the current scenario. Any sadist pureblood (likely his dearest cousin) might like to hurt her just for a laugh. Revenge wouldn't be effective at all; what he had to do was stay with Lily and try to get her back to normal. So he looked up from his work, focusing on her question.

"Doing my homework," he said. "The professors haven't been very merciful in assigning work."

She chewed on her bottom lip, looking worried. "But how am I supposed to finish my work?"

"You don't have to worry about that, Lils. I will do your homework too, and transform my handwriting to yours."

Lily's eyes widened in awe. "You can do that?"

He nodded.

"Thanks!" she screamed, and ran over to him, tackling him in a tight hug. "You are the best, Sirius!"

He laughed as he pried her hands off him, and ruffled her hair. "No need to thank me, Flower. The rest of the Marauders and I have done this plenty of times."

She watched quietly as he wrote line after line on the parchment. It was really exhausting work. He finished his transfiguration essay (Write three feet on the various aspects of human transfiguration) as well as Lily's.

Then he moved on to Potions. Potions had never been his favourite subject, nor was it something that he excelled at it, although he did well in almost everything that he took without studying much. The essay was a particularly tricky one. As he struggled over correctly explaining the method of brewing Amortentia and its effects on a person, Lily watched on carefully.

Currently he was trying his hardest to remember the ingredient to be added after giving the potion a clockwise stir. Unfortunately, however much he racked his brains, the cursed ingredient would not come within the grasp of his consciousness. He scratched his chin with his quill, thinking hard. Suddenly, Lily spoke up.

"Wormwood," she said.

"What?" he asked absently, not quite following her.

"You have to add wormwood next, you know," she elaborated.

Her words finally penetrated through to his brain, and his jaw dropped.

"H-how did you know? How – do you – do you remember?"

She looked just as baffled as him now that he asked. "I...don't quite know," she said slowly. "It just...sort of – came up suddenly in my head, I suppose."

Sirius nodded in a dumbfounded fashion, his brain working rapidly. "Okay, Lily, I'll ask you some questions in these subjects, let us see you can remember anything further."

He began asking her different things that the professors had taught them, easy ones first, and then moving gradually to more difficult topics. Nine out of ten times, he was delighted to find, Lily answered the questions correctly. By the time the clock struck ten, she had managed to write off her own essays, mostly by herself.

"Dinner time!" Sirius sang out, rolling up the parchments. Both of them were drunk with happiness at the sudden success.

Lily followed him eagerly to the table, and sat down facing him. As they sat munching on their baked potatoes and steaks (nothing in comparison to the cooking of the house elves at Hogwarts, but quite edible) Lily asked, "So, Sirius, are you friends with Sev?"

Sirius' face clouded over, and he glared at his plate. It was so unfair that she could not remember any of her friends, not even her boyfriend, but she remembered that snivelly git.

"No," he said shortly.

"Oh. Why not?" Lily asked curiously.

"For...a variety of reasons. We don't quite get along with each other," he refrained from going into details, afraid that if he started badmouthing his bitter enemy, he won't be able to stop.

"Er – am I?" Sirius looked up to see tentativeness and apprehension in her green eyes.

"No, Lily," he replied quietly. "You were once, but not now."

The bitter lines on Lily's face became more prominent.

"But why?" she asked, looking like a child trying to figure out a complex puzzle. "He seemed to be a nice guy. He was the one who first told me that I was a witch."

Sirius was surprised at this piece of information, but he ought to have expected it. After all, he had seen the two sticking together when they first boarded the Hogwarts Express, and it looked like they had been friends for years.

Focusing on her question, he answered, "He...his priorities changed. He got other friends, whom you did not approve." He tried to leave the conversation at that, not wishing to tell her about the incident in the fifth year, but one look at her face showed that his explanation was not quite satisfactory. So he sighed, and went on. "And in our fifth year, he called you a – a you-know-what."

"A you-know-what?" she asked, confused.

"A – a –" he could not bring himself to say it; he had sworn to never use the word ever since he was a child, when he had found that the blood of muggles and muggleborns were not a shade less red than his own. "– a mudblood." he whispered, hating himself for saying it, even though not for insulting someone.

Lily winced as if someone had physically wounded her; her eyes shut tightly, and tears began forming beneath the closed eyelids.

"Lily! Lily, what's wrong?" Sirius asked, moving to her side and gripping her shoulders even as the tears began trailing down her rosy cheeks.

"I – I remembered," she said between sobs. "His voice – Sev – no, Snape's voice. It w-was so cold, so harsh. And I felt the pain, humiliation and anger; oh God, Sirius, he's so terrible!"

"What did he say, Lils?" Sirius asked, rubbing soothing circles on her back.

" _'I don't need help from mudbloods like her!_ '"

Sirius nodded. "And – nothing else that you remember?"

She shook her head. Sirius decided to give the interrogation a rest. He was somewhat relieved that James' part in the episode (and his own, too) had not been revealed to her; that woukd completely flip her carefully built friendship with him, and maybe James' chance of getting back his girlfriend would be gone forever. His hatred for Severus Snape, on the other hand, had just increased tenfold. Lily did not deserve such pain even once, let alone twice. He wiped the tears away from her face, and cupped her chin with his hand.

"Don't cry, Lily," he said softly, and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Everything will be alright. Now go to bed, it's late."

She nodded and went off to his bedroom, which Sirius had let her have, while he himself lay down on the couch, and turned out the light.

It was about half an hour later, when he had just fallen asleep, that he felt a soft touch across his cheek. The gentle fingers moved across his hair, and he subconsciously moved his face closer to the hand, sighing at the softness of the contact.

"Sirius!" a voice whispered through the dark.

"Mmhm," he mumbled, his senses still not awake.

"Sirius, please wake up," the voice spoke again, and this time he was poked lightly on the chest. He opened his eyes to see a pair of bright green eyes blinking at him through a curtain of dark red hair.

"Lily?" he asked, peering at her through the dark. "Didn't you go to sleep?"

She shook her head. "Couldn't sleep. I – I had a nightmare. Would you –" she hesitated. "Would you mind sleeping with me in your bedroom? It might help."

Sirius stared at her nervous expression, and the thin layer of sweat that had accumulated on her brow. He grinned at her. "Of course, Flower, all you have to do is ask. But let me tell you," he added with a smirk, "I tend to take up the entire bed when I sleep."

Lily cracked a smile. "Not to worry. I kick."

He laughed, and following her to his double bed, flopped down beside her.

"Night, Lils," he murmured as his eyes closed.

"Goodnight, Sirius."

-o0o-

The next morning, Sirius opened his eyes to find Lily curled up against him. Her petite frame was nestled against his burlier body, her face buried into his chest. His arms were protectively wrapped around her waist.

Sirius could feel his face go red. Thankful of the fact that no one was watching, he extricated himself from the girl's side carefully, so as to not wake her up. He thought what James would do if he found out that his girlfriend had slept with his best friend (however innocent the act might be), and shuddered. He brushed his teeth and walked into the kitchen.

 _It was nothing_ , he tried to convince himself, _nothing more than typical elder brother behaviour. She was scared, and so I helped her sleep. There's nothing improper with that._

Yet he could not shake off the feeling that he had done something quite wrong.

He had just popped a couple of slices of bread into the toaster when the doorbell rang. He stretched, and ruffling his hair (a habit he seemed to have picked up from James), went to the door. A mousy haired salesman was standing outside, looking at him hopefully.

"Good morning, sir," he said in a squeaky voice. "I am from Livefree Life Insurance Company, and –"

"Life insurance?" Sirius echoed.

"Yes, sir, and –"

"Get out!" Sirius shot back. He did not have the patience to deal with another of those idiots, not after what his last encounter with one a day ago had cost him.

"But sir, I –"

"Don't you understand plain English?" he roared, his patience at an end. "I – am – not – interested! Now get the hell out of here." And he shut the door on the man's face.

Swearing under his breath, he got back to the kitchen, to find Lily already there, frying eggs in a pan. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun, and she was still in her pyjamas. _She looks adorable,_ thought Sirius, as his eyes soaked in every visible detail about her, and then instantly berated himself for having such traitorous thoughts.

"Good morning, sunshine," he grinned. Lily raised an eyebrow at the nickname, but smiled all the same.

"'Morning, Sirius," she greeted. "What had your knickers in a twist this early?"

"It was one of those stupid life insure or something guys," he said through clenched teeth.

"Life insurance," Lily corrected him.

"Yeah, whatever. What is a life insurance, anyway?" The salesmen had given him voluminous explanation of the concept, but none of those had ever gone through his head.

"They ask you to submit a sum of money to the company, and in case you die or get injured, the money that you submitted, along with extra funds, is given to your family."

"What a silly idea," Sirius commented. "Why would I save up money to be given after I am dead?"

"You could have got one done, you know," Lily said. "Although it's a muggle thing, it might help your family."

"I don't want anything to do with my family," he hissed. Lily looked surprised.

"Why? What's wrong with them?"

Sirius was about to snap at her, but then he remembered that she had no memory of how horrible his family was.

"We just...don't get along," he said, not wanting to bring about the topic of blood purity in front of the redhead. "I ran away from my home last year. I live with James now."

"Oh," was all she said. There was a tentative silence between the two.

"It looks like you have covered breakfast." he said, eyeing the toasts and the eggs, hoping to change the subject.

"Yeah," she replied brightly. "I felt like stirring up something nice. You can help if you wish."

 _Fifteen minutes later:_

"Sirius Black, don't you dare touch the custard mix again!"

"I was only tasting," Sirius pouted.

"You already had two handfuls. We won't have any left if you keep going on like this!"

Sirius simply smirked, and inched his hands closer to the bowl half full of the dessert.

"Oh no you don't! I swear, Sirius, if you lick the custard again I'll –"

With a devilish grin, Sirius looked directly into Lily's green eyes, and pulling up a fistful of the sticky, sweet goodness, shoved it into his mouth.

SPLAT!

Something wet trickled on his hair, and raising his fingers to his dark locks, he found them covered in egg yolk. He narrowed his eyes at the girl at the opposite end of the kitchen, who was doubled up in laughter.

"Now you have done it, Evans," he said. "Get ready for your punishment." And he shoved a fistful of flour at her.

Half an hour later, the kitchen was a complete mess, and so were its two inhabitants. Sirius had egg in his hair, his shirt was drenched orange juice, and his face was speckled with white. Lily on the other hand, resembled a ghost, covered head to toe in flour, and had custard on her nose. Both of them were panting with the sheer use of energy, and each was clutching their stomach, laughing at the spectacle that was the other.

"Oh God," Lily wheezed. "You look like a clown!"

Sirius mock scowled. "Watch who's talking! You look like a bloody ghost." He noticed the custard on her face, grinned mischievously, and closing the distance between them with a couple of strides, licked it right off her nose.

Lily stiffened, her mouth forming a small 'o' as she stared at the wizard in front of her.

"What?" Sirius smirked, licking his lips. "The custard was too delicious to be wasted." He inspected his now orange shirt. "I'll just go and clean myself, okay? You'd better do it too. And then we can clean this mess." He waved his arms in the general direction of the kitchen, and giving her a dazzling smile (as dazzling as is possible with egg dripping off your hair), walked off towards the bathroom. He did not notice Lily's cheeks flush as red as her hair as she stared at his retreating figure, her lips still parted.


	4. I am All Yours

**And we have our fourth chapter. Things are going to seriously (No pun, or maybe, yes?) change for our protagonists here. Thanks for everyone who read, reviewed, favourited and followed this story. Your support means a lot.**

 **In response to Greyandmint's review, yes, you can say that Sirius was flirting with his best friend's girlfriend and that is not only wrong but also contradicts with Sirius' loyalty. But in my headcanon (for this story) Sirius is used to playfully flirting with Lily just to annoy her, with no purpose at all. And in licking the custard off Lily's nose, I believe he didn't even consciously see it as flirting, because with all her memories, Lily' wouldn't have been flustered (might have said something like Ew, gross). But anyway, that's just me making my excuses :)**

 **Without further rambling, let's go on. This chapter is rather short, I hope you won't mind.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 4 – I am All Yours**

"Sirius! Sirius!" Lily almost bounced over to the couch, where the said wizard was dozing off.

"Huh, what?" Sirius jumped up, his hand reaching for his wand.

"I was trying out the spells from our textbooks, and I could do them all!" she burst out.

"Wow, really?" Sirius asked, his eyes wide, and his face split into a big grin when she nodded. "That's great, Lily! Now what about a duel, just to test you?"

Lily looked doubtful for a few seconds, but then, clenching her jaw in determination, she nodded.

"Don't worry, Flower. I will go easy on you," he said, poising himself at the other end of the room.

But as it turned out, there was no need for him to let her off easily. In fact, Lily duelled with the same dexterity and skill as before. It was unbelievable that she had no memory of going to a wizarding school and learning magic. Finally, after twenty minutes of heated battling, in which Lily almost defeated him twice, Sirius managed to make her wand fly out of her hands with a disarming spell.

"That was amazing!" Sirius panted as he gave back Lily her wand.

"You think so?" she asked doubtfully. "I lost."

Sirius smiled at her, and then pulled her into a big hug. "Lily Evans," he said into her hair, "you are the most amazing witch I have ever met."

He pulled back from her, looking straight into her eyes. "You nearly had me down, Lily. You were simply awesome!"

Lily smiled up at him. "Thanks, Sirius. It felt nice to know that I can handle a wand without help. "

They sat down on the couch.

"Want to catch a movie?" Sirius asked. He had never cared for them much himself, but watching a film with Lily might be enjoying.

"Sure, why not?" Lily grinned. "I used to watch them on the telly with my family on Sundays."

"Wait here, then," he said, and disappeared into the kitchen. He appeared moments later with two soda cans and a tub of popcorns.

"When did you get those?" Lily asked, amazed, as he dropped down beside her.

"This afternoon," he replied with a grin. "I had been thinking of watching a film with you; I had seen the muggles watch films with these stuffs, and I wanted to do this in true non-magic style so..."

"Great!" Lily smiled, switching on the television. "You are a genius, Sirius Black." Sirius smiled back, his cheeks flushing a light pink at the complement.

They watched 'The Sound of Music', which was being aired on the channel. None of them spoke a word, watching enraptured as the little children sang time and again, the only sound apart from the dialogues and music being the light crunch of popcorn and the slight slurping of soda being sucked through the straw. As the ending credits rolled up on the screen, Sirius noticed little tears collected under Lily's long lashes, and with a slight smile, wiped them gently with his fingers. She looked up at him and smiled.

"You must think I'm such a weepy girl," she said softly. "It's just that... This is such a beautiful film. I have watched it many times with Petunia, and every time I become just as emotional."

"I don't think you are weepy, Lily," Sirius replied in a voice just as low as her. Something was compelling him to maintain the hush that had fallen in the room. "I have never watched this movie before. But I agree with you. It's truly wonderful."

The two sat in companionable silence for a few a minutes.

"Sirius?" Lily finally whispered. Sirius turned his head to look at her, only to find her face centimetres away from him. He would have wondered when the space between them reduced by such a great extent, had it not been for the fact that his brain had suddenly gone completely blank. He could do nothing, except blink at her stupidly.

"Ye-es?" he whispered back, struggling to form a coherent thought. Her face was closer to her than ever; he could count each one from the light smattering of freckles on her nose.

She did not reply, just raised a hand to run her fingers gently through his hair. His eyes closed momentarily in pleasure, but then opened again, only to be lost in the brilliant green hue of her own. She was coming closer and closer, and Sirius Black, Marauder, womanizer and resident ladies' man of Hogwarts, was frozen under her hypnotic spell.

Her lips placed themselves on his, and they were as soft and delicate as silk. He wasn't conscious of his brain generating any instructions; it had completely stopped working the moment she began kissing him, and yet he was aware of his lips responding to hers enthusiastically, of one of his hands caressing her auburn locks and the other pulling her against him by the small of her back. And yet, there was something wrong. Not about the way she was kissing him, no, that was beyond perfect, but the fact that she was kissing him. Still, his brain, thoroughly intoxicated by the lovely perfume of her hair, could not grasp any reason, and he was only conscious of the sweet pleasure coursing through him with each movement of his lips against hers.

She grazed her tongue lightly on his bottom lip, requesting entry, and he opened his mouth, bringing forward his own tongue to meet hers. They entwined in a soft battle, the slight hesitation on both of their parts only adding to the sweetness of the embrace. Sirius sighed into her mouth. This kiss was more beautiful than any he had ever had in his life. _No wonder James loves her,_ he thought dazedly.

 _James._ That single word awakened his reason. He was _James' best friend._ Lily was _James' girlfriend._ And that was where it was wrong. It was just so wrong.

He pulled away from her as gently as he could. Lily pouted, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

"I wasn't done yet," she complained.

"Lily," he began, glad that he could think clearly again, to some extent at least. "We need to stop. This...isn't right. You have a boyfriend, Lily. We can't do this."

She did not speak, but a slight frown marred her perfect face. Then she fixed him with a narrowed-eyed stare which made his Adam's apple bob in his throat. Her green eyes were acting like a magnet, and he could feel himself automatically moving towards them just like a piece of metal. She placed her hands on his shoulders, and pushed herself up so that she was, once more, impossibly close to him. Unable to judge her intentions, Sirius simply stared at her, dumbfounded.

"Lily, we shouldn't..." he whispered, but trailed off as he lost his train of thought under her gaze. His brain was ringing a dim alarm bell, but with every fraction of a second, his face was inching closer to her, unable to resist her attraction.

"Relax, Sirius," she whispered, looking at him from beneath her fluttering eyelids, and he found himself obeying immediately, automatically. "I really want this. Don't you?"

 _You don't even have an idea how much I do,_ his mind whispered.

She lowered her mouth to his cheek, and placed a soft kiss. But she did not stop there. Her ruby lips trailed down her cheeks over to his neck as she placed feather light kisses everywhere. Her expert fingers caressed his hair, his cheeks, and raked across his shirt, where, here and there, a bit of his bare skin was exposed. It was pure torture. His heartbeat sped up, testosterone pumping through his entire body. He wanted to beg her to stop or to kill him, or else, snog her senseless. Instead, he let out a groan when she nipped at his collarbone. His resolve was slipping, and in all probability, she knew it.

Finally, when she kissed his ear and whispered his name, he lost it. Grabbing hold of her chin, he crashed his lips on hers, pouring in all the passion he had been holding back. She responded with equal enthusiasm, if not more, and pushed him backwards so that she lay on top of him. Their lips met again and again, their teeth clashed and tongues fought for dominance, all gentleness thrown to the winds. Her hands travelled down to his shirt, her fingers deftly opening the buttons, and pulled at it to get it off him. He obliged, nothing but pure, undiluted desire running through his veins, and in turn, let his hands travel up and down her gentle curves. Her fingers raked across his chest muscles, slow and torturous, making him groan in pleasure. All the while, their lips never left each other.

Sirius could feel his chest heaving. He felt lightheaded, as if he had downed an entire bottle of firewhiskey. Lily's fingers traced his face as he placed kisses on her neck, and a soft moan escaped her when he sucked at a sensitive spot. That small sound of pleasure flicked on some sort of a switch inside him; in a deft movement he twisted their positions, so that she lay under him. His eyes were glazed over with desire, and he could see her emerald ones, cloudy and bright, staring up at him, a combination of a smile and a smirk playing on her lips. His hands reached out to unbutton her blouse, and his fingers traced her bare skin down her neck as her breathing quickened. She was all over him; hers was the only smell he was conscious of, and it drove him mad; her presence was the only thing that mattered in the world. As he met her lips again, and again, and again, he forgot where he was, he forgot who she was; hell, he didn't even know _who_ he was, and he didn't care; all he knew was that he wanted her, this angel, and he did not want this to stop, ever.

* * *

 **Before you jump to conclusions, they are _not_ going to make love. Intense kissing and stuff, as you see, but no further. Until next chapter, folks :) Please tell me what you think of the story.**


	5. Back to Step One

**So we come to the consequences of the previous night's passion. Thanks to all my readers and reviewers, and those who favourited and followed Obliviate. A very Happy Halloween in advance to you! :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 5 – Back to Step One**

As Sirius woke up in the morning with sunlight falling into his eyes, he was suddenly aware of the other person who lay beside him on the couch – Lily. For ten full seconds he stared at her – her blouse half open, her hair askew and her breathing slow and deep, trying to fathom how on earth things had turned out like this. And then it all came back to him in a flash – last evening, the movie, their kiss, and he stood up so fast that he nearly fell down to the floor. He inspected his own body – shirt tossed onto the floor, hair completely messy and lips slightly bruised.

 _Oh Merlin, what have I done?_ he thought.

Without the blind desire that had been the sole emotion controlling him last night, he felt the horror and guilt of his actions crash over him.

 _I kissed my best friend's girlfriend,_ he thought, as wave after wave of guilt tumbled over him.

And it hadn't been just one little kiss either, but a full on, passionate snogging session.

 _How did it happen? Why?_ he wondered, trying to fathom why Lily Evans, of all persons, had been kissing him. As he looked at the girl sleeping on the couch, he realised with a jolt that she probably fancied him. There had, in all probability, something more than just random desire behind her caresses; he had felt it last night as she showered him with kisses.

 _James deserves her, not I,_ he thought. _I can't play with her feelings this way. I can't betray James. Lily needs to get her memories back, before it's too late._ If it wasn't already.

All of a sudden, he knew where he could go for advice.

 _I should have taken her there straight away,_ he thought _. Why hadn't I thought this before?_ His determination about not handing Lily over to any authority had made him forget the best possible source of a solution that could be found.

He hurriedly put on a clean shirt and tidied his hair. Scrawling a quick note to Lily just in case the young witch woke up before he returned, he turned on the spot, feeling the familiar twisting sensations that disapparation caused.

The next moment, he was facing the huge iron gates with winged boars on them. He entered, walking through the snowy Hogwarts grounds. Soon he was striding down the corridor leading to the headmaster's office. Giving the password to the stone gargoyle (which he had found out last week, courtesy of Filch for bringing him in with the accusation that he was planting dungbombs in the corridors) he went up the spiral staircase, and knocked at the door.

"Come in," came the familiar voice of Professor Dumbledore. He smiled as Sirius entered the office. "Ah, Mr. Black. Please take a seat."

As Sirius sat down in the chair opposite to the headmaster, he had, once again, the feeling as if the old man was x-raying him with his brilliant blue eyes.

"I admit I was surprised to see you here, Sirius," Dumbledore said, although he sounded anything but surprised. "I was under the impression that you had gone home for Christmas."

"I had, sir," Sirius replied. "It's that... There is a problem, and I was hoping you could solve it."

Dumbledore nodded encouragingly. "Please continue. I am all ears."

Sirius relayed everything that had taken place in the previous two days – his visit to Diagon alley, Lily's injury, her memory loss, the recovery of her lessons and magical skills, and the return of her memory about the incident with Snape.

"It sounds as if things were going positive, although I am curious why you did not take her to St. Mungo's."

Sirius told him about his memory of visiting the hospital at eight. The professor nodded understandingly once he finished.

"It is indeed true that once one admits a patient for memory loss in St. Mungo's, there is no alternative but to wait. We can use the hospital as our last resort. And as we can see, Miss Evans has shown great improvement in her condition with you. So, a wise decision on your part. But may I ask what the problem you referred to is?"

"Well, Professor, it happens that...that last night," he felt his face flush, "Lily, uh, kissed me."

It was the understatement of the century, but he was in no way giving the details to Dumbledore. He looked down at the ground, unable to meet the headmaster's eyes.

"And you are afraid that her lack of memory of the times spent with Mr. Potter, and her stay with you over the few days may have caused her to have feelings for you?"

Sirius nodded mutely, his eyes trained on his shoes.

"A probable conjecture, Mr. Black. So what do you intend to do?"

"I want her to get her memories back as soon as possible. If she can recall her memories of James, her feelings for him will return. But I have been unsuccessful so far, Professor. She can recall everything she learnt in class, but not her classmates or Professors. She can't remember James, Remus, Peter, her friends, no one. Except Sni-Snape."

Dumbledore nodded again. "Does Mr. Potter know about this?"

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "He is away for his cousin's wedding. I didn't alert him because I was afraid that he'd be too distressed. And now..." he shuddered at the idea, thinking of last night. "I can't possibly do that."

"And what about Miss Evans' parents?"

"I had Lily stay at my place with Mrs. Evans' permission. She doesn't know about Lily's memory loss, though."

"I appreciate your efforts, Sirius," Dumbledore smiled. "And I will try to help as much as I can." He paused for a minute.

"Sir, do you — would you like me to bring Lily here? Sirius asked hesitatingly.

Dumbledore considered his words for a moment. "I do not think that would be necessary, Mr Black," he said. "I have got a fairly clear picture of the situation from your narration, and I doubt if, given her amnesia, Miss Evans would be able to supply any other productive information. But, if you are not opposed to it, I would like to take a look at things, ah, from your own eyes."

Sirius did not pretend not to understand; Dumbledore was going to use legilimency. He gulped nervously. "By — by all means, do so, sir."

"Trust me," said the old headmaster, and fixed his piercing blue eyes sharply on Sirius' own. Fighting the desire to break his gaze, Sirius forced him to relax. He could feel a foreign presence sifting through his mind, but barely; Dumbledore was highly skilled. Then image after image began to flash before his eyes — Lily, lying in a pool of blood in the dark alley, himself tending to her in his flat, his conversation with Mrs Evans, Lily's laugh, Lily's smile... The images began to move, until Sirius saw himself and Lily sitting before the TV, Lily's hand on his... He began to struggle a little, despite himself. He had no wish for the professor to witness the events of last evening. Thankfully, Dumbledore did not probe any further, but withdrew from his mind. Sirius found himself gasping in his seat as the headmaster's office spun back into his vision.

"Legilimency can be a little disorienting, I am afraid," Dumbledore smiled at him. "Sherbet Lemon?"

Sirius nodded gratefully, and a moment passed between them in silence as he unwrapped and popped the toffee on his mouth.

"It appears that Miss Evans' loss of memory was not due to a deliberate or stray memory charm, but because of her head receiving a severe injury," Dumbledore explained once Sirius had composed himself. "The attack, I'm sorry to say, but I am sure you will agree, was by some Death Eater who is familiar with Miss Evans' blood status, quite a few of whom are out large. The only way to her problem is to relate to her her past life, and hope that somehow it will trigger her memories to return. Anyway, even if it does not happen, at least she will have a fair idea of what she does not remember.

"I have found, through many sources, that visual stimuli have a better effect than audio, in recovery of amnesia. What I mean is," he explained kindly when Sirius looked puzzled, "that if Miss Evans can actually see the memories which she lacks, rather than hearing about them from you, she has a better chance of recovery."

He walked over to his cupboard, from where he brought out what looked like a stone basin.

"This is a Pensieve. This device can be used to store and view memories which are stored in a person's mind. You can pull out memories and deposit them in here," he touched his temple and pulled out a string of silvery semi liquid, semi gaseous material, which he put inside the Pensieve. "Once the memory is deposited, one can bend his head, like diving headfirst into a lake, and one will be transported to the memory. Here, let me show you." He took Sirius by the arm and followed the steps he had explained.

After twenty minutes, Sirius thanked the headmaster, and with the Pensieve in his possession, left the school. Breathing in the cold breeze of winter, he could not help but wish that he had just stayed back at school and prevented the mess that, of late, were the lives of him and a certain redhead. Purposefully clearing his head of all thoughts save his destination, he paused on the streets of Hogsmeade and turned on the spot, disappearing from the lovely snow-covered village.

Appearing in the living room, he placed the Pensieve carefully on the table, and looked around for Lily. She was, however, nowhere to be seen.

"Lily!" he called. No answer. Brows furrowing, he looked into the kitchen. It was empty. His worry increased a little. What if she had wandered off somewhere on her own? Maybe she was tired of staying in the house for two days on end. He directed his steps towards the bedroom. As he neared the door, he heard the sound of light footsteps. But nothing had prepared him for what he saw.

Lily was just stepping out of the bathroom, her hair dripping and her skin moist, with nothing but a towel wrapped around her. The piece of cloth didn't leave much for imagination; much of her legs were in full view. As her eyes registered his presence, she gasped, her hand holding the towel around her fumbled in her surprise, and the white cloth fell down to the floor, pooling at her feet.

Sirius could feel his lips part as his eyes defied all conscious instructions, automatically roving over her exposed figure. She was absolutely, undeniably beautiful. For a long time, or what perhaps was just a few seconds, he didn't know, they both stared at each other. Lily didn't move, but just stood there, lips parted into a small 'o', apparently too stunned to even make a move.

"Uh –" the noise escaped his throat on its own, but it brought her back to her senses. In a flash, she had placed the towel back around her, her face turning brilliant red even faster than one would have thought possible. Her actions brought him out of his daze, and with a blush that could compete hers, he bolted from the room in an instant.

He dropped down on the sofa, trying to calm his racing heartbeat. The image of Lily undressed had got branded in his mind. While the larger part of his brain tried to forget everything that had just happened, he was acutely aware of a small piece of his mind that had longed to pull her wet body flush against him, to touch her lovely, soft skin, and to snog her senseless.

"Great, that's just what I needed, _"_ he groaned, burying his face in his face in his hands, as he desperately tried to ignore how tight his pants had become.

-o0o-

When Lily finally stepped into the sitting room, fully dressed, Sirius had a tough time warding off the image of her naked, which had sprung to his mind as he looked at her.

"Um, hi," she said, her cheeks still pink.

"Lily," he addressed her, ushering her to sit down beside him. "I wanted to say something to you." he paused for a second. She was listening attentively. He cleared his throat, wondering how to proceed.

"Look, what happened last night, it was a mistake." He felt an unexpected stab of pain as he said those words, as if they were not what he wanted to say. Focusing on his purpose, he continued. "We... I should have never kissed you, Lily. I am sorry for leading you on. We can't be together, you need to understand this."

He ventured a glance at her; her lovely green eyes, which had felt so alluring last night, held pain in them, which made his heart clench.

"You...need to love James, Lily. You loved him. He deserves you."

She said nothing, just looked down at her hands.

"I went to Dumbledore for help, and he gave me this thing. It's called a Pensieve. I can show you the memories that I have of us through it, and perhaps you will recover faster. And then, things will be normal again." He paused tentatively, trying to judge her expression. She said nothing.

"Lily," he tried, unnerved by her lack of response. "Say something."

She looked up into his eyes.

"What can I say, Sirius?" He flinched slightly at how sad she sounded. He had been afraid that his rejection would hurt her, but had been hoping that maybe, just maybe, her actions last night had been fuelled by just random desire rather than deeper feelings. "You went through all this trouble for my sake, and so I suppose I should say, thank you." Her tone did not reflect any gratitude, though. It was flat, even a trifle tired.

"Something is bothering you," he persisted, although he was not sure he wanted to hear what it was.

Lily sighed. "Have you ever felt yourself being drawn towards someone, although that person says that we are not supposed to be together? Have you wanted someone who you realise has never been in your life the way you want him to be? Have you tried to remind yourself that you have a life with someone else, and yet wanted things to stay as they are, with you knowing only half about your past, just because you hope that you will get the person you want that way? Because that's all that is bothering me, Sirius."

He remained silent, not knowing how to respond.

"I have seen James' pictures, I have heard all you told about him, and although he sounds very nice, I admit that it hasn't stirred anything within me."

She paused for a while, her eyes dim with bitterness.

"But he..." Sirius tried.

"I know, he fancied me for six years. That, admittedly, is a rare show of determination. He must really like me."

Sirius opened his mouth to speak about just how much James loved Lily, but shut his mouth as she spoke again.

"You are right, Sirius. James does not deserve to go through this. I will work my best to get my memories back, just for him. And besides, it would be incredibly selfish of me to throw away my past because of mere feelings." She did not say it, but her eyes shot the rest of the message in his face. _Feelings you clearly don't reciprocate._

His heart clenched painfully, though he could not pinpoint why. He placed his hand on hers. "I am really sorry, Lily. I don't want us to stay away from each other anymore than you do –" _Whoa, where did_ that _come from?_ "– but things can't go this way.I am sorry that I hurt your feelings. I should have controlled myself last night."

She stroked his hand gently with her fingers. "It's okay, Sirius," she said, flashing him a wry smile. "You were not the only one out of control."

He smiled at her, glad that much of the shadow had lifted from her face, although resignation reigned in her eyes.

"So, friends, then?"

She nodded and returned a small smile.

"Friends."

"We will start going through my memories from the evening, all right? I'll need the afternoon to sort the memories out."

She smiled. "Fine then. Would you like a cup of cocoa? You didn't have anything since you came back."

"Sure. Thanks, Lils."

She nodded and went off to the kitchen. Sirius watched her go, and as her figure disappeared round the corner, he found his mind recalling how her lips had moved on his last night with an emotion akin to desire, and felt a foreign feeling stir at the bottom of his heart.

* * *

 **How about it? Send in a review, please? It'll be nicer than Halloween candy!**


	6. Down the Memory Lane

**So what do you think of the story so far? Going on, thanks to all my readers, reviewers, and those who favourited and followed this story. A special thanks to Paula990 for reviewing all the chapters so far. Your support means a lot to me.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 6 – Down the Memory Lane**

Sirius spent the afternoon diligently sorting out the memories that he was going to show Lily. He selected those which concerned Lily as much as possible, keeping those containing the silly banters of the Marauders, or them hexing and bullying people as much away as possible. He also kept away the revelation of Remus being a werewolf and the memories of them becoming animagi; that was something he wasn't sure she needed to know; he could always tell her later anyway.

By four o'clock, he had a fine collection of silvery liquid-gas material swirling in numerous glass phials. It had been a tiring job, recalling the old times and pulling the memories out with his wand; it had demanded a lot of concentration. But finally it was over. Now all that was left to do was go through the memories with Lily and hope for the best.

As he placed the last phial on his bedside table, he could not suppress a yawn. Deciding to take a brief nap, he fell down on the pillows, hoping that Lily wouldn't mind if he snagged the bed for half an hour. He had scarcely finished his thought when his eyes shut on their own accord and he drifted off to the land of dreams.

-o0o-

She lay facing him on the bed by his side, looking at him steadily, her brilliant gaze unwavering. He didn't know when she had slipped into the bed, how long she had been at his side, but her presence caused a wave of happiness to spread through his body. Not willing to care about situations and consequences just then, when he had her so close, he kissed her gently on the lips, a smile spreading on his face as he soaked in the sheer beauty of her features. She smiled back at him, ardour evident in her lovely green eyes, and leaned into the kiss. Their lips moulded into each other, their movement slow and sweet. There was no haste, no urgency. She stroked his face with fingers, and he felt a joy he had never felt before as he savoured the feeling of her gentle fingers on his skin. Her hair smelt lovely, the scent of vanilla wafting from the beautiful red tresses as he buried his face in them.

"Sirius..." she whispered into his ears, and he wanted her to say it again and again, for his name had never sounded so sweet on any other set of lips. He hummed contentedly, drawing her even closer to him.

"Sirius," she said again, "I love you."

He jolted upright on his bed, his heart hammering in his ribcage as though he had just had a nightmare. He looked around him with wild eyes; there was no one in the room other than him; there was no redhead beside him. He exhaled loudly. What had that been? Why, in the name of Merlin's most ridiculous dress robes, had he been dreaming about Lily? And had it even been a dream?

Automatically, he shifted from his bed and walked out to the living room. Lily was reclining on the couch, reading an old copy of the Witch Weekly. He sighed in profound relief; it had only been a dream. But the relief was only momentary, because it brought hot on its heel the question – why had been he dreaming about kissing Lily? Hadn't he just told her that they would be friends and nothing more? Was that not what he wanted?

Lily had been following the 'friends only' policy very well; she had got back to teasing and bantering with him, and the mildest sliver of tension that sometimes hung in the air between them was the only tangible reminder of what has passed the previous day.

As he looked on at her, lost in his own thoughts and speculations, she became aware of his presence. Putting down the magazine, she looked at him questioningly.

"Anything the matter, Sirius?"

"Huh?" he shook himself clear of his train of thought. "Oh no, I...er – I have finished sorting the memories out. Do you feel up to taking the first lesson?"

She sat up and grinned. "Sure. Let's do this."

Sirius took up the Pensieve and gingerly placed it front of her.

"Wait a second." he said, and made a quick trip to the bedroom to bring the desired memory.

"All right," he said as he poured the contents of the phial into the basin, "We are going to start from the very beginning, okay? This is the memory of the first time I met you and James."

Lily nodded and stepped forward with trepidation, watching the now swirling contents of the Pensieve.

"Ladies first?" Sirius said with a small smile.

"Okay..." Lily allowed, making his smile widen. _Always the true Gryffindor,_ he thought.

"Okay, now bend your head forward, like this..." he guided her as Dumbledore had taught him that morning. Soon she had leaned far enough and had disappeared into the basin. He took a deep breath and followed suit. The next moment he was falling, falling, through sounds and blurred images, until his feet hit solid ground, and he found himself standing next to Lily in the Hogwarts Express. She visibly relaxed when her eyes lighted on him.

"Take my hand?" he offered. "We won't get separated that way."

She nodded gratefully, and entwined her fingers in his. The contact made a shiver run unexpectedly through his body, which he ignored.

"Hogwarts Express," he elaborated to her, looking around. This was his memory, so they must be quite near to where the younger version of himself was sitting with the eleven years old James...

It didn't take him more than two minutes to find the compartment he was looking for. Two young wizards were sitting on the seats, talking loudly; one was bespectacled and the other had longish hair and aristocratic features. Sirius saw Lily smile out of the corner of his eyes as her eyes fell on the two boys. Also sitting by the window, looking out of the window, was a redheaded girl.

"James and me, when we met for the first time in the train," he explained. "And you, of course." he added softly, an involuntary smile tugging at his lips as he saw how sweet and innocent the eleven years old Lily looked.

He tugged at her hand as he walked straight through the compartment door; he had learnt from Dumbledore that in the memory, they were no more solid than ghosts.

"Come on," he said.

They settled at one corner of the compartment and watched the children. Sirius felt odd watching the scene he had left behind six years ago being played before him.

Lily took a good look at her younger self.

"It looks like I have been crying," she said, sounding confused. "Why?"

Sirius looked at the red rimmed eyes of the young girl.

"It was about some spat you had with your sister," he said, shifting uncomfortably. Lily hadn't talked about the incident at all except one small mention of it later in their sixth year, but even then she hadn't gone into the details. Although back then, in the train, he had not even spared a second glance at the crying girl with whom he sat, let alone talk to her, Sirius felt guilty about his actions now. He ought to have had been a little more sensitive.

"Er – I am sorry for being such an insensitive prat back then," he said, waving a hand towards the younger versions of him and James. "I should have talked to you or something."

"It's okay," Lily shrugged. "I don't mind...and I don't remember the times anyway."

Their discussions were interrupted by the entry of a young boy with a curtain of greasy black hair. He was already in his Hogwarts robes. He sat down in the seat opposite to the younger Lily.

"Snivellus," Sirius hissed almost inaudibly.

"I don't want to talk to you," the eleven year old Lily said, giving him a quick glance and turning back again.

"Why not?" queried Snape, a look of confusion and hurt flashing through his black eyes.

"Tuney h-hates me. Because we saw that letter from Dumbledore."

"So what?"

She looked at him in dislike.

"So she's my sister!"

"She's only a—" he caught himself mid-sentence. Sirius knew that he had been about to say 'muggle', but had only stopped because of Lily.

"But we're going!" Snape said, trying to cheer the young girl up. "This is it! We're off to Hogwarts!"

Lily nodded, wiping her eyes, and she half smiled.

"You'd better be in Slytherin," said Snape in an eager voice.

"Slytherin?" James spoke up, noticing the redhead and her companion for the first time since they had entered. "Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?" He turned to the eleven years old Sirius, who had been lounging on the seats opposite him.

"My whole family have been in Slytherin," the younger Sirius said, his face darkening. Sirius remembered with stark accuracy, as he heard his younger self speak those words, the deep sense of insecurity than had crossed his mind when James had said that. He had liked James from the moment they had met, and James' words had made his fear that James would no longer like to be his friend if he got sorted to Slytherin.

"Blimey," said James, "and I thought you seemed all right!"

The younger Sirius grinned, as did the older one. That had been the moment when he had consciously made the wish of being different from his family. "Maybe I'll break the tradition. Where are you heading, if you've got the choice?"

James lifted an invisible sword. "'Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!' Like my dad."

Sirius heard Lily giggle beside him, not the one in the memory, the seventeen years old, real one.

"He is so childish," she said, watching James wield the imaginary sword, a smile on her face.

"He was a bit of an idiot back then, we all were," Sirius replied, chuckling at Lily's amusement.

Snape made a small noise of disapproval. James turned on him. "Got a problem with that?"

"No," said Snape, though his slight sneer said otherwise. "If you'd rather be brawny than brainy—"

"Where're you hoping to go, seeing as you're neither?" The younger Sirius put in.

James laughed loudly. The young Lily sat up, face flushed in anger, and looked from James to Sirius in dislike.

"Come on, Severus, let's find another compartment," she said, dragging the boy out with her.

"Oooooo... " James and Sirius imitated her high voice; James tried to trip Snape as he passed.

"See ya, Snivellus!" they called as the compartment door slammed, and leaned back on their seats, laughing.

"Let's go," Sirius said to Lily, and held her hand as they began flying upwards at an alarming pace. Before their brains had registered much except the dizziness caused by the swift motion, they were back in the sitting room of Sirius' flat.

"Not a very lovely first meeting," Lily commented, a mixture of annoyance and amusement written on her face.

"Yeah," Sirius replied apologetically, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. "We weren't the nicest of people. And I am afraid that this kind of idiotic behaviour will be common in the next few memories; we didn't reform until sixth year, you see, or rather, the seventh year, and as I already told you, you hated us for a long time."

"Well, anyway, it was an interesting experience. I'll be looking forward for the rest."

Sirius nodded. "I'll try to cover up the rest of the memories as soon as possible." _And let's hope to Merlin that you get your memory back by then,_ he added silently, as she headed back to the bedroom.

* * *

 **So, what do you think? Will Lily get her memory back? How? When? We'll see ;)**

 **Until next chapter, folks!**


	7. A 'Black' Christmas

**And so the story moves on... Thanks once again to all my readers, reviewers, and to those who favourited and followed. You rock! How was Halloween, people? I hope you had lots of fun!**

 **Here you get a little taste of Christmas, off season :)**

 **Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter. Wish I could.**

* * *

 **Chapter 7 – A 'Black' Christmas**

Christmas came in a cloak of pure white. Everything, from the roads and pavements to the rooftops of the buildings, was covered in four inches of snow. It was only five in the morning when Sirius' eyes flew open. He tried to shut his eyes and go back to sleep, but try as he might, sleep evaded him. Sighing, he got up from the couch and began to plan for the day.

Last day, he had taken Lily to Diagon Alley for Christmas shopping. The memory of the attack on Lily was still fresh on his mind, and so he hadn't let go of her hand throughout the entire trip, something which she hadn't complained about. They bought gifts for all their friends; Sirius had to advise Lily on what kind of gift she ought to buy for James, Remus, Marlene and the rest, seeing as she had no idea herself. They had spent their Christmas Eve between wrapping up and sending away their gifts via owl, and watching Sirius' memories in the Pensieve.

Since he was awake anyway, Sirius began to make plans for the day. He decided to decorate his place properly for Christmas, partly to cheer himself up and partly to please Lily (the poor girl didn't have much to do, stuck in this house with only him as a companion). With a flick of his wand, he conjured up a Christmas tree in the corner. Meticulously he altered the plain appearance of the living room, and by the end of the hour, he had completely transformed his flat into a replica of the Potters' place in Christmas (minus the mistletoe, though; he didn't want any more excuses to kiss his best mate's girlfriend). Work done, he went to wake Lily. The redhead was curled into a ball, with a couple of blankets over her. He grinned and bent down over her.

"Lily flower, wakey wakey!" he sang. Lily groaned and turned away.

"Go away," she moaned, her words coming out muffled. "It's Christmas, Lilykins." he called again.

"Let...sleep...don't care...damn...Christmas." Lily's words were only partly discernible from under the blanket.

Sirius chuckled; someone was not a morning person. Deciding that it was a time for drastic actions, he pushed off the blankets from her in one quick shove, and picked her up bridal style. She screamed and protested at the sudden change of temperature, but he paid her no heed, carrying her off to the living room. But as he stopped by the sofa, he looked down only to see her fast asleep again, snuggled into his warm chest. He sighed in defeat, but couldn't suppress a smile at the sweet picture she made.

"Merlin, Evans, you are quite the sleeper," he murmured to her sleeping form, wondering what to do. He was struck by a sudden brainwave. Grinning slyly, he carried her into the bathroom, over to the bathtub, which was full of water, and without warning, dropped her.

Her breath whooshed out from her as her body made contact with the water, and her eyes flew open instantly. Then she gave a scream which, Sirius felt, would put a banshee to shame.

"BLACK!"

Sirius grinned sheepishly at the redhead who was glaring daggers at him, looking incredibly harmless though, with her chattering teeth and blue lips.

"Sorry, love, but I had to wake you up, didn't I?"

She looked at him murderously, stepping out of the tub, dripping wet. "You are so dead now, Sirius Black."

"Aww, Lily, don't get angry with me, please," he begged, making his best lost puppy face. "It's Christmas!"

She huffed, and took the towel he tossed at her without a word. Once she was completely dry (courtesy of Sirius' drying spell rather than the towel), they went out into the living room. Lily was still giving him a cold shoulder, but out of the corner of his eyes, Sirius saw her eyes shining and her lips twitching as she took in the decoration. He grinned to himself. Mission accomplished.

He walked over to where he had kept her gift.

"Merry Christmas, Lily flower!" he sang, handing the gift over to her with a flourish. She took it with a closed expression, but as she unwrapped it, a smile spilled out on her lips. Sirius had got her a knee length midnight blue dress, which he knew, was her favourite colour (after hazel, of course – James' eyes). She grinned as she twirled the dress around her, and gave him a big smile.

"Thanks! I love it!"

He smiled at her happiness."So, am I forgiven?"

Her brow crinkled, but her smile didn't waver.

"I suppose so," she allowed reluctantly.

He chuckled. "Give me a hug, then."

She shook her head at him fondly, but crossed the distance between them all the same to envelope him in a tight hug. As she pulled away, she pressed her lips gently to his cheeks.

"Wait here. I'll get your gift," she said, and hurried away to the bedroom. As she watched her go, Sirius could not stop his hand from touching the place where she had kissed him. It had only been a friendly kiss, sisterly even, maybe, and yet his heart had done an unexpected flip-flop at the contact.

She was back in a couple of minutes, carrying a neatly wrapped object.

"Here," she gave it to him. "Open it."

He removed the wrapping to find a small box. He lifted the lid, only to gasp in surprise and awe. Inside the box was an exquisite glass figure of a doe. He stared at her with open-mouthed wonder, unable to speak.

"When I was young," she said, smiling shyly, "I loved making figures out of clay. I had been trying my hand at it in the in the last couple of days while you were gone. And I found that my patronus was a doe, so I thought I would make something to remind you of me...just in case we ever got separated someday. I made it last night, except, you know, this time, I used magic." she paused for a while, apparently unsure how to continue. "So...erm – do you like it?"

He kept the figurine carefully on the table, and then, gave her a big hug.

"I...don't know what to say." he said at last, overcome by a sudden emotion. "You began practising magic only two days ago, and you made this masterpiece. I can only say what I told you earlier, Lily, you are the most amazing witch I have ever met."

Her face broke into a breathtaking smile.

"I love it," Sirius said. "Thank you."

The two of them got gifts from the rest of their friends too, as one by one, the owls came. Sirius could see that Lily, albeit happy, was clearly overwhelmed at receiving gifts from people whom she didn't even remember well.

 _That is going to change very soon, Lily, I promise._ He swore mentally.

They spent their afternoon tucking into Christmas special meals which they ordered from the local diner.

Evening fell, and the city was now decked in Christmas lights. Snatches of Christmas carols floated into the flat from the neighbouring houses. So merry was the entire atmosphere that Sirius completely forgot the worries that had been gripping at him the last few days. He tapped at his transistor (a muggle one), which began belting out a hit Beatles number. The band was really popular, among wizards and muggles alike. Indeed, it had been a bit of hard work for him to convince himself that John Lennon was indeed a muggle, and not a wizard in disguise.

He looked around for Lily, only to find her stepping out of the bedroom in the dress he had given her. His eyes widened; he had thought that the dress would suit her, but he hadn't imagined that she would look _that_ gorgeous.

"You look amazing," he said with complete honesty.

"Why, thank you," she grinned. She listened to the song that was playing and began swaying to its catchy tune.

"Nice song. I love it!" she commented. "It's one of my favourites."

He grinned at her, and in a sudden wave of boldness, took her hands in his. Her eyes widened ever so slightly, and she looked at him questioningly.

"May I have this dance?" he asked, retaining his grip on one of her hands and giving a low bow. Her cheeks flushed a lovely shade of pink, and her eyes sparkled in amusement as her lips curved up into a smile.

"Of course, Mr Black," she said.

He guided her hand to his shoulder as he clasped the other in his own. He hesitated a little before putting a hand on her waist, but then got over it; _It's only a dance,_ he said to himself.

They swayed to the music together, neither of them facing any problem about coordination. Sirius, as a child, had been taught ballroom dancing (it was a pureblood custom, his mother had said, but he never managed to figure out how having twinkle-toes would help someone establish their blood status, except maybe by attracting pureblood witches), and although he always acted as if he had two left feet just to annoy his mother, he could dance really well. Lily, too, was evidently quite an expert in dance, because twirled and twisted effortlessly in his arms, never a step out of turn. The tempo picked up as the song progressed; she laughed as he did a complicated twirl with her, and suddenly it crossed him how lovely her laughter was. She smiled at him, inching closer, so comfortable in his arms. He could not help but smile back tenderly, enjoying the feel of her lingering touch. They danced across the many songs that the radio belted out, and finally, dropped down on the couch, exhausted but internally rejuvenated by the dancing. Both their faces were flushed, and a big smile lingered on their lips.

"That was great," Lily gushed after regaining her breath.

"Indeed it was," Sirius agreed, grinning. "I wonder why we didn't dance together ever before. Where were you all my life, Evans?"

Lily laughed. "I never enjoyed dancing this much before."

Sirius smiled back, content to just look at her silently. Her cheeks were tinged with a beautiful reddish hue, and her eyes were glittering in the firelight. Despite his previous promises to himself about not thinking about her looks, he thought, once again, that she was just _so_ beautiful. A gush of cold wind came through a chink between the windows, and she shivered. It was then that he remembered something.

"Just wait a minute," he said, and went to the kitchen. He returned with two glass bottles full of sloshing liquid.

"Firewhiskey," he explained to her questioning glance. "Let's warm you up."

"But aren't we supposed to not touch that stuff until seventeen?" she asked, probably remembering what she had heard at the Leaky Cauldron during the Christmas shopping trip.

He laughed. "Lily, we _are_ seventeen."

She grinned sheepishly. "Oh, right. I keep forgetting that I am not eleven anymore sometimes."

Her words sent a shot of pain in him, but he brushed it away, handing her a bottle. They began sipping the drink in silence. The only sound that penetrated the quiet was the light gulping sound of them swallowing the drink or Lily coughing when she had downed too much Firewhiskey in one go.

"I think I'll go to bed," Lily said finally, glancing at the clock on the wall. It was already past eleven. They hadn't noticed the time fly. Sirius nodded.

"Goodnight. I will get to bed a bit later."

She smiled at him and stroked his hair comfortingly, and then disappeared into the room.

Left alone, Sirius cast a refilling charm on his drink, and kept sipping. It wasn't that he was much of a drinker, though. He didn't know what was compelling him to drink, but the past few days had been emotionally draining for him, and the amber liquid was an easy escape. The firewhiskey burnt at his throat, but he drank on, enjoying the gradual numbness that was settling on his brain.

The clock ticked away the seconds quietly, but he didn't notice; his mind was playing back all the interactions he had with Lily ever since the holidays began – the attack, her blank, oblivious look, the food fight with her, the snogging session, looking at her naked body, going back to being friends, everything. Even in his alcohol-smothered judgment, he could see how much close he and Lily had become over the time, in a much different way than what they were before. Her memory loss had altered everything so much. He thought of the way she had kissed her that evening, of how she had looked at him then, and the irrational part of his mind, which was run purely by instincts and desires, and which had grown so much stronger and louder under the influence of firewhiskey, declared that he should to kiss her again. And he really wanted to. He thought of how soft and delicate she had felt this evening, how perfect she had seemed in his arms, and sighed. But then his logical part, dulled, but active still, kicked in and shoved such thoughts away.

He shook his head as if to shake off annoying flies, disoriented by the internal conflict, and took a large gulp of firewhiskey. His surroundings spun a full circle around him; he could feel himself getting drowsy under the influence of the drink. He tried to stagger up, but fell back to the couch again. He wasn't completely smashed yet, that would have been when the crackling fire began to call out expletives at him, but his consciousness was giving away under the combined weight of the whiskey and the day's excitement. His hand was shaking slightly, but he took another swig of the drink. That gave him a sudden boost of boldness, and swaying dangerously, he made his way to his bedroom, knocking the glass bottle off the table in the process. He stood, supporting himself by the door pane to steady himself. Lily was sleeping in a spaghetti top and pyjama bottoms. He staggered over to her side, and ignoring the faint warning that was ringing in the back of his head, lay down beside her and wrapped her in his arms. He was drunk, of course, but to his alcohol-driven mind, he was quite sober. And to his current state of mind, Lily was attractive beyond imagination and he just wanted her so much. He pulled her closer, taking in deep breaths to inhale her sweet smell.

"Oh, Lily..." he purred. She was so lovely.

His hands gently stroked her face and arms, and he leaned in to drop light kisses all over her face. Between kisses, his lips kept moving to whisper her name, again and again. Such a sweet name – Lily.

She shifted and moaned quietly, but did not wake. Her lips raised themselves in a smile. Sirius continued administering his affections on her for some more time, before his tiredness and the alcohol took its toll on him. The last thing he wondered before he passed out at her side, burying his face in her silky hair, was what it would be like to taste Lily with the firewhiskey on her lips.

-o0o-

Sirius groaned as the sunlight hit his eyes. His head was throbbing in a splitting headache. He tried to shield his eyes from the piercing light, turning over to his side. The couch felt different. It felt...like his bed? He cracked open one eye, only to confirm that he was indeed lying on his bed. _How did I turn up here?_ He wondered. The last thing he remembered was leaning back on his couch, drinking.

Suddenly, a shadow fell over the side of the bed, and a familiar smell of vanilla hit his nose. A slender hand reached down to push hair out of his face.

"Hey, wake up," Lily's voice whispered in his ears. He turned, and reluctantly opened his eyes.

"Rise and shine, handsome," Lily grinned, playfully pulling him up. He let her, and groaned again, clutching his head in his hands as the throbbing in his head escalated.

"Hangover?" she guessed, observing him. He began to nod, but suddenly, his stomach churned violently, and forgoing all attempts at normal behavior, Sirius made a mad dash for the bathroom. Skidding to a stop by the toilet, he proceeded to be violently sick. He dimly heard Lily enter after him, and her hand thumped him on the back and then rubbed soothing circles on his shirt. After his stomach was finally empty, Sirius staggered up, and with Lily supporting him, stumbled back to the bedroom.

"Wait," she said, after he had been seated on the bed, and walked out of the room, only to return with a carafe of water.

"Drink up," she instructed. He obeyed, and sighed as the cool liquid soothed his parched throat.

About half an hour later, Sirius followed Lily out into the dining space, cleaned up and changed, his headache much less acute, and his mood consequently better.

"How did I end up in the bed?" he voiced his question as Lily handed him a steaming mug of coffee. He didn't remember anything of last night's events after Lily went to bed clearly; everything was an unintelligible haze of vague memories.

"Maybe the couch was a bit too hard for you last night?" Lily teased. It was then that he noticed that she was significantly happy that morning. Unlike the first time he had got drunk (that had been in school after Gryffindor won the quidditch tournament; Sirius hadn't been able to resist the firewhiskey the seventh-years brought in), she hadn't even wrinkled her nose or chastised him for getting wasted. The smile that she had worn while waking him up had not left her face, and once or twice her eyes became glazed over and she would sigh wistfully.

"What makes you so happy?" he asked curiously.

"Oh, nothing," she said, the smile still in place. "I had a nice dream."

He nodded slowly, still curious."What about?"

She smiled again and turned towards the window.

"In my dream... you..." her cheeks turned pink. "It's nothing. Just a sweet dream..."

Her tone wistful, she walked off to the kitchen. He tried to ask again, but she wouldn't answer, so he was left wondering what his dream self could have done to make her so happy.

"You know what?' she finally said, when he had almost given up trying to interrogate her, a hint of mischief in her voice and a coy smile on her lips, "It might also be because of the fact that you were practically all over me in bed this morning." She walked out of his sight after that, her tinkling laugh echoing away in the now silent room.

Sirius sat frozen in his seat, his eyes wide in shock.

 _Merlin, just how drunk had I been?_

* * *

 **Until next chapter :) Meanwhile, tell me what you think about it. How do you think Lily will get her memory back? Are things going to be more troublesome for Sirius and Lily? And guesses? ;)**


	8. Tick Tock

**And I'm back... Thanks to all my readers, reviewers and the rest :)**

 **To the guest (Sanika the Awesome): I'm sorry you didn't like the pairing...many don't, I know. But hang on yet, I have a surprise for you ;)**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 8 – Tick-tock**

As the days passed, Sirius and Lily's lifestyle became a more or less monotonous routine. They would spend most of their time going through Sirius' memories, and the remaining time they would spend in chatting casually and making small talk. They had been through the memories of even sixth year, and Sirius was getting worried. His collection memories would come to an end in a day or two, and Lily still hadn't recovered from her amnesia. The good thing was that she had at least the basic recollections of the years, but still, it wasn't nearly as good as properly getting back all her memories.

"It's like watching the life of another person," she said one day, after they had emerged out of the Pensieve after watching a rather uneventful day of their sixth year. "I know that it's me, but it doesn't feel like it, you know."

Sirius knew, and that was what bothered him. The holidays were about to come to an end, and he didn't know what would happen if Lily didn't recover her memories by the time school resumed.

"How would you feel," he couldn't stop himself from asking Lily one day, "If your memories never returned?"

She looked pensive. "I don't really know. I know the essential events of my life now, thanks to that Pensieve and your help, but I have no idea what it would feel to see and talk to people about whose lives and habits I am supposed to know, but yet I don't. I do hope that my memories will return by the time school starts."

Sirius hoped so too. He kept having a constant feeling of nagging guilt as Lily's amnesia did not waver, and the feeling kept deepening with every passing day of failed efforts. He felt that he was failing Lily, he was failing James.

But it would still have been bearable if it were only the guilt that he was suffering from, because Sirius Black could deal with guilt just fine; it was an emotion he was used to. The guilt of goading Snape to the Whomping Willow, the guilt of pushing his brother away (although the fault was hardly his) — guilt had been a constant, unwanted companion in his life. Yes, Sirius knew guilt well, and he could cope with it. But the problem was that that was not all.

He was having thoughts which he'd rather not. His emotions were taking paths on which he had been keeping a strict ban; his mind was a complete mess. He had expected things to get easier as Lily got better acquainted with her past, but of late, even as he looked at her while she helped him with stuffs of all sorts that she was capable of, he found his mind and heart moving along treacherous routes. The redhead suddenly seemed beautiful in a way he had never seen her before, and if he ever accidentally let his mind lax enough, his imagination took flight, painting all kinds of scenes involving his best friend's girlfriend which would never have entered his brain even a few weeks before, and never ever should. He tried to tell himself that everything would be fine once Lily got her memories back; she would go back to loving James, they would go back to being good friends and nothing more; that was what he wanted, right?

But sometimes, when he passed the framed picture of the Marauders in his bedroom, he found himself looking at his bespectacled best friend, and wondering with something similar to bitter resentment, what would have happened if someone called James Potter had never existed in this world. Of course, he would immediately scold himself at that, and pretend that such thoughts had never crossed his mind.

 _Sweet Merlin,_ he kept thinking in spite of himself, _let's just get over with this as soon as possible._ He barely cared what his emotional condition would be after this was over any longer, he couldn't bear this anymore. The constant whirlwind of emotions was just too much for him.

Some unexpected development did happen on one drowsy afternoon two days before the end of their holidays.

The memory that Sirius and Lily had delved into was a day of their early seventh year, in November, just before Lily and James began officially dating. It was Lily and James' first kiss, which Sirius had accidentally witnessed.

The two of them now watched the head students sitting by the lake, staring at its deep waters.

 _"There is something I have been trying to ask you for a while," Lily said to James with a hint of timidity, breaking the silence that had settled in._

 _"And what would that be?" James raised his eyebrows._

 _"I — do you, hate me?"_

 _James stared at her, suddenly dumbfounded._

 _"Of course not. Why on earth should I hate you?" he asked, astounded._

 _"You should, really. I have behaved so terribly to you all these years..." Lily looked at the ground guiltily._

 _James sighed. "I have only loved you all these years, Lily. No matter what you did, I love you."_

 _She was looking at him with those wide green eyes._

 _"James..."_

 _And then she was kissing him. Her arms, so carefully placed away from him, were now wrapped around him, and after a moment's hesitation, James began to kiss her back._

Sirius and Lily watched the two kiss, Sirius remembering the manic grin that James had been wearing when he had come to announce the fact that he and Lily were together with ease. He was just chuckling, remembering the look that his best friend had given him when he told that he had witnessed their loving exchange, when he was distracted by a gasp from Lily. The redhead was kneeling on the ground, clutching her temple, her face contorted in pain.

"Lily! What's wrong?"

Thankfully, the memory had come to an end anyway, so he held her in his arms as they rose out of the Pensieve. As soon as he had steadied himself, he bent over to check on Lily. She was still clutching her head, but seemed to be quickly regaining her composure.

"What happened?" he asked her anxiously, laying her down on the couch.

"That... That memory," she murmured. "It triggered something... My head hurt like hell... But, I had begun to remember...quite a few things around seventh year. Head patrols, talking to you lot, something about me talking to Remus about the full moon I think —" Sirius shuffled nervously, "— but then it all stopped. But I swear it came back, some of it. I — I remembered."

Sirius nodded, unable to formulate any suitable response.

"You rest a bit," he said after a while. "We can watch the remaining memories when you feel up to it."

She nodded gratefully, and so Sirius left her alone after handing her a jug full of water in case she needed it. He himself went to the little balcony adjoining his room. He didn't usually spend a lot of time here, seeing as it hardly gave any pretty view, but today, he allowed himself to lean against the metal railing, letting the breeze run through his hair and his mind to lose itself in thought.

Lily was going to get back her memories soon. He knew it. He just had to get the right memory, and then it would be done. He was completely sure of her recovery now. Positive. But then, why wasn't he feeling the joy that he had expected to? Why was there no relief in his heart, only a queer gnawing feeling that seemed to be eating him whole? He had wanted Lily to go back as she had been, hadn't he? That was how things were supposed to be and that was what he wanted... Surely? He remained standing there for a long time, unaware of the clock ticking by. He felt more conflicted than ever.

 _What is wrong with me?_

He turned at the sound of soft footsteps behind him. Lily was standing there, a distinct air of nervousness about her.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked, stepping forward to face her.

"Yes, thanks. Actually —" she hesitated ever so slightly, "I wanted a favour."

He let his eyes ask his questions.

"It is evident to me that my memories are going to return. After that... I will be dating James, and you will be just me friend. I know," she cut him off when he opened his mouth, "I know that you are going to say that that is what we are now as well. But once the holidays end, there will be no looking back on this. So I want something from you, Sirius.

"I want you to kiss me. Not like you would your best friend's girlfriend (although you wouldn't kiss her at all, perhaps, under normal circumstances), but the way you would kiss some other girl at school."

His eyes widened in shock, and he began to protest. But she cut him off.

"Please. I am asking this as a favour. Please, Sirius, just once. I can't stop myself any longer. I... I just need this."

There were a thousand reasons why he ought to turn her down, starting with the fact that she was his best mate's girl, there was no denying it, and ending with the fear that this would lead to nothing but hurt for both of them. But there was a small part of his mind which was urging him on, a part which was the kingdom of desires and instincts.

 _This is your chance,_ it said. _Just grab it. You know you want this._

And yet he couldn't be sure; he knew he oughtn't do this, that he should outright say no to her, and let his mind to rest with the thought that his best friend was there to fulfil all her desires; but then, there was no one else who could fulfil _his_ desires, other than seemingly this one girl, and so he remained hung between his brain and his heart, between what was right and what he, although he wanted to convince himself otherwise, craved.

Finally, he conceded, the tiny monster inside him roaring in triumph.

"Fine," he sighed, "but this must be the last chapter, Lily. Nothing more can happen between us after this."

"I know," Lily said. "I understand."

She had asked him to think of her as some other girl at school, but he didn't need to do that. In fact, he didn't think that imagining her as a random girl would make his heart do as many flips or his blood to pump so thick and fast in his veins as was happening now.

 _Merlin, what the hell is happening?_

He stared at her deep green eyes, trying to stem the chaos that was going on inside him, and opened his arms to her.

 _This is the last time. No more. Never again._

And yet there was that unexpected, inexplicable pang that struck his heart as he thought that.

Lily held his gaze, her face carefully neutral, and slowly began to walk to him. It seemed that she was deliberately trying to slow down the moment so as to not let it go. Well, it seemed that it was fine with him too.

Finally, she threw her arms round his neck; he desperately ignored the goosebumps riding up the spot. She stood up on her tiptoes; he automatically began gravitating towards her. Her eyes fluttered shut; he was entranced in the fine detailing of her delicate features — the perfect straightness of her nose, the rosiness of her cheeks, her long lashes. She pressed her lips to his, and oh, it was pure heaven; there was no other way to describe it. Everything about her was so perfect, so amazing. They kissed slowly, each drinking in the other without haste, savouring each sensation. This kiss was low on passion, just soft, and sweet, but Sirius liked it that way. Once it had started, he didn't want it to stop, and he prolonged it by breaking the kiss to press a shower of barely there kisses on her sweet lips, lightly tracing her face with the tips of his fingers as she caressed his hair. Why, oh why, did it have to be Lily Evans who was making him feel so lightheaded? Why couldn't it be some other girl, someone who wasn't out of bounds, someone he could kiss without having a hint of regret or worries? Why on earth did it have to be his best mate's girlfriend?

When they finally pulled away, he could see disappointment in Lily's eyes, something which he too felt. It had not been enough; it could never be enough, not in this life. But he carefully masked his feelings, giving her a half-hearted smile. It wouldn't do to have such thoughts, because he was Sirius Black and she, Lily Evans. She too did the same.

"Thanks," she said. "That was beautiful."

"It was," he agreed.

 _Pity it can't go on this way._ The thought flitted through his mind without permission, making him squirm a little with guilt.

"I'll just go stir up some dinner," she said. "Come in when you feel like it."

And so she left him standing in the dying glow of the sun, pondering to himself.

 _What had just happened was clearly so wrong, so why did it feel so completely right?_

* * *

 **What do you think will happen next? Which memory should cause Lily to recover? Like the story? Any changes you want? Just leave a review :)**


	9. Remember and Forget

**Hello, readers! I'm back! Thanks to all of you for reading, reviewing, favouriting and following this story so far. And we have reached the finally chapter. This is way longer than the rest... And once again, I remind you that Lily's amnesia here is not really similar to the clinical, real one.**

 **And also, a special thanks again to paula990 for reviewing every chapter of the story. Hopefully it was up to your satisfaction.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 9 — Remember and Forget**

Two days. Sirius couldn't stop tapping his foot nervously on the floor as he sat on the couch in the drawing room. Two days until the end of Christmas break, the date circled in red on the calendar to which his eyes kept glancing back. Two days were all that he had left.

Two days and three memories. That was all that remained of the tools that he had to cure Lily's amnesia. If these failed him, well, then that would be the end. He would be a goner.

The atmosphere in the room as he sat didn't reflect his agitation, though. The Sunday morning was crisp, bright and golden. A lazy quiet lay across the place, and the occasional honking and rumbling of the cabs did not disturb it by penetrating into the apartment. Sirius and Lily sat in companionable silence in the living room, the latter still blinking the little remaining sleep out of her eyes, each stealing occasional glances at the other.

"How about an early morning session?" Sirius asked his companion, pointing at the Pensieve which rested on the table, as they sipped their steaming cups of coffee. He figured that since what was about to happen would happen anyway, there was no use of meaninglessly drawing out the suspense.

"Sure, why not?" Lily grinned, and downed all the coffee in one go.

"Hot!" she gasped, making Sirius chuckle. It was unbelievable how close they had got in these few days. All the previous six years had fallen short of it by a large extent.

He brought out one of the three remaining memories from the bedroom. They seemed to mock him as he picked one up, as if saying, 'And if it doesn't work? What then?' He couldn't help wonder for the umpteenth time why he hadn't witnessed more loving interactions between James and Lily (he wouldn't have before the holidays, but what can be said, things just weren't the same anymore). Forcing himself to keep calm and composed, he walked back to Lily and poured the contents of the little phial into the basin.

"Let's go," he said, taking her arm as they prepared themselves for the sheer drop which had become so familiar to them in the last few days. It suddenly struck him how used he had grown to the feeling of her small soft hand in his, and how nice and comfortable and warm it felt. And not for the first time during those holidays, he felt that terrible jealousy for his best friend. _What will happen when Lily gets her memories back?_ he wondered with some bitterness, but then stopped himself. It was more important to think what would happen if she _did not_ get her memories back. He needed to focus on that.

Clutching Lily's hand tightly in his, Sirius let himself fall headlong into the memory, pulling Lily down along with him.

When his feet hit solid ground, Sirius found himself staring at an all too familiar wizarding village, the chilly breeze of November blowing around, rattling the dry leaves of the trees.

"So, where are we?" Lily asked. "Or I should say — _when_? I know this is Hogsmeade."

"Seventh year, November," Sirius replied, happy at the fact that she could recognise the places well by now. "That is, a month ago." He looked around, trying to gauge with more accuracy what was supposed to happen now. After watching so many memories, he had lost track of which was which.

"I think this is James and your first Hogsmeade date. We happened to hang out around you under James' invisibility cloak, so —"

A piercing scream cut through the cold air. It went on an on, like a cry of a hunted animal, quivering and echoing in their ears.

Sirius froze. Lily's hand was suddenly vice-like around his arm.

"Is this — is this supposed to happen?"

Sirius mutely shook his head, thinking hard. What could possibly be happening?

"Shit," he cursed as understanding dawned on him. It _was_ November and it _was_ Hogsmeade and it _was_ Lily and James' date. But not the first. They were, by some mistake, in a memory set two weeks after — the second date, during which there had been a Death Eater attack.

"Lily, we have to go," he said urgently. "I made a mistake — this is a Death Eater attack." He didn't want her to see this, the dreadful scenes of death and destruction which were about to come. He tugged at her arm.

"No." Lily's voice was suddenly steely. "I want to watch this. I need to watch this. As a reminder that there's a war out there. We are not leaving, Sirius."

Helpless, Sirius shrugged, and together, they walked deeper into the village.

The sights that greeted them caused bile to rise in his throat. He had never wanted to see this again, and certainly not to get a lot more than what he had seen when he was here (for he knew his memory self was at the moment exiting the Three Broomsticks). There were people everywhere — Death Eaters in black cloaks and the local people, and even some students. There were bodies in the air and on the ground, writhing in pain. There were even a couple of bodies lying around. Blood ran on the ground in rivulets; screams rent the air. Some people had already put up resistance to the best of their abilities, and were engaged in fierce duels.

"Where are we?" Lily queried, her voice a pitch higher than usual, her face pale and clammy. Even though Sirius knew they were no more than ghosts in here, he wanted to help, to do something, _anything_.

Their memory selves had entered the scene. Sirius watched as Lily and James, and Remus, Peter and he ran in and joined the fray.

"You'll get hurt!" Lily yelped as spells grazed dangerously close to them. "Get away!"

"Gryffindors, Lily," Sirius explained. "We can't stand back when our friends are in danger. Besides, we are all alive and well now, right? It's okay."

Now that he was a mere spectator to it all, Sirius could observe the sheer bravery with which the fighters duelled. He could admire Remus' skill and calm logic, Lily's fiery resistance, James' earnest spell-casting and even Peter, who had quelled his fear long enough to fight. His months younger self wasn't doing too badly either.

Suddenly, a mad cackle sounded above all the noise. Sirius turned towards his right to see a witch, beautiful and terrible, laughing maniacally as she shot down people left and right and made them quake in pain.

Lily gasped beside him. "Is that —"

"Bellatrix," Sirius confirmed, a sick feeling growing in his gut. Things were about to get ugly.

Lily, the one in the memory, had gone dangerously close to Bellatrix. Even as they watched, she shot a spell at the older witch, causing her to let go of the elderly person she was torturing.

"And who's this?" Bellatrix's lips lifted in a cruel smile. "Little Lily Evans, the itty bitty head girl? You're stupid to try me, pretty little mudblood."

She shot a curse at Lily, who quickly cast a shield charm to counter it. But the next curse that came hot on its heels had the shield shattering, and as it hit her hand, Lily dropped her wand.

"And now? Where's all that bravery?" Bellatrix taunted, before throwing another curse at her. Sirius watched, feeling sick, as the girl fumbled for her wand on the ground.

"No!" Out of nowhere, James launched into the way, taking the hit. He crumpled to the ground, unconscious.

"James!" Both the Lilies screamed. And as Sirius and Lily watched, another stray spell vaulted towards the younger Lily, unnoticed by her.

"Oh God," Lily moaned beside Sirius. But then, the younger Sirius was there, pushing her out of the way. For a second, they lay on the ground, one on top of the other, as the battle raged on. Sirius winced as a ribbon of blood ran down his leg; the spell had hit him on the leg.

"Oh, Sirius... Your leg..." Lily eyed it worriedly.

"It'll be fine, don't worry," Sirius assured her with a smile.

"We have to help James," Lily murmured, and as Sirius nodded, together, they rose, Sirius limping.

Sirius was watching focused on the battle, when Lily doubled up in pain beside him. After a second of panic, he gathered his bearings. Leaving the memory halfway through, Sirius pulled himself up, holding Lily.

This time, however, he did not panic, at least not much. His previous experience said that this meant that Lily was getting her memory back — some of it, if not entirely. Carefully balancing their combined weight as he landed back on his living room floor, Sirius held his breath, waiting for Lily to come to her senses. But unlike last time, Lily did not regain her countenance immediately after going up. Instead, her body sagged in Sirius' arms. She had fainted.

Now the panic settled upon Sirius. Was this what was supposed to happen? What was happening to Lily? Was she going to be alright? If things took a turn for the worse now...

"Lily? Lily, wake up!" He shook her gently after laying her on the couch, feeling a dreadful sense of déjà vu in his actions as he remembered finding her after the attack. Seconds passed with frightening slowness as Lily's face remained blank and impassive, unresponsive to his repeated calls. His hands trembling with nervousness, Sirius moved her hair back from her face. _Merlin, Lily, wake up!_

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, her lips quivered a little. Then her eyelids fluttered, and at last, she slowly opened her eyes.

For two very long seconds, her green eyes remained fixed on his Sirius' face, no sign of recognition on her expression. Then, slowly, her lips parted.

"S-Sirius?" she whispered uncertainly. Before he could stop himself, Sirius had gripped her hand in his.

"I'm here," he assured her. "It's okay, Lils."

"Where am I?" Lily's eyes remained confused as ever.

"My — my flat of course," Sirius replied, slivers of doubt creeping into his thoughts. Was is simply disorientation that made Lily's surroundings seem alien to her, or was it something worse? "Don't you recognise it?"

"Let me —" Supporting herself on his hand, Lily sat up in her seat and looked around. Oddly enough, no sign of familiarity flashed in her eyes.

"What happened, Sirius?" Lily asked finally. "The last thing I remember is being at Diagon Alley — and then this woman — Bellatrix, wasn't it? — came around, and we fought — and I don't remember anything."

Sirius stared at her. "So you remember?"

His question appeared to confuse her even more. "Remember what?"

"What prank did we arrange this Halloween?"

"Transfiguring the Halloween pumpkins to sing, wasn't it? But why—?"

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen, of course. Celebrated my birthday last January. But what —"

"Who's your boyfriend?"

Lily huffed, irritated. " James, alright? James Potter!" Whatever's wrong with you, Sirius? Don't tell me forgot all that!"

For a moment, Sirius sat very still, letting the implication of this observation roll over him. And then he held her in a tight hug.

"You're okay, Lily!" he breathed into her hair. "Your memories are back!"

But Lily's contact exuded none of the warmth it had throughout this week. If anything, her body stiffening a little around him screamed out a sense of alienation. She patted him on the back awkwardly, and then gently pried off his fingers from her. Sirius pulled back, bewildered and a little hurt. What happened to the girl who had held him so close because he had told her that he'd do her homework? To the girl whose eyes had shone as they danced? To the girl who... had come to him asking for one last kiss?

"Um, Sirius, thank you so much and whatever... but what happened?"

Sirius blinked. "What do you mean?"

"I remember being attacked by Bellatrix — and after that, what happened?"

Now Sirius was beginning to feel really confused. Wasn't her memory returning supposed to mean that everything was connected in her head? A niggling worry manifested itself on his mind, and so he asked away:

"Lily, what's the date?"

Merlin, he was really beginning to hate this question.

Lily was looking at him like he has lost his marbles.

"It's the twenty first of December, isn't it? Our Christmas holidays just began."

Sirius felt his mouth go dry.

"No, Lily," he said slowly. "It's two weeks from that. We get back to school in two days."

Lily's eyes widened in shock and fear. "W-what? But how is this —"

"You don't remember — anything?" Sirius felt as if the ground was slipping from beneath his feet.

"No — I —" Lily's eyes were frantic now. "What happened through these weeks, Sirius? What am I missing?"

For a second, Sirius simply stared at her, wondering if his own emotions were even more muddled than Lily's. Then with a huge effort, he put on a facade of calm and gathered his thoughts.

"Nothing much," he said. It was, after all, mostly the truth. "Your encounter with — Bellatrix, you said? — left you with no memories of your life from your first year onwards. So together, we got things to fall into place again."

"Oh." Lily sagged in visible relief.

"But Lily —" Sirius had that hollow feeling in his chest which refused to go away, "Don't you remember — anything at all?"

Lily thought carefully. "There are these fuzzy images..." she said at last. "Christmas decorations... dancing... old memories... a kiss..." she paused uncertainly, as if doubting her sanity. "But they don't make any sense."

"I —" Sirius stood grasping for words. All these two weeks... everything had occurred between them... was gone from Lily's mind? At that moment, he himself couldn't name the array of emotions crashing over him.

"It doesn't matter," he finally heard himself say, feeling a shell of fake calm envelope him. "There's nothing important to remember. You are alright, and that's all it matters."

Lily nodded, before coming up to him and hugging him tenderly. "Thanks, Sirius," she said with a smile. "Even if I don't remember it, everything you must have done for me... all the troubles you went through... thank you so much for that. I couldn't have asked for a nicer best friend."

Sirius nodded mechanically. "I suppose you'd want to go home now? Your stuff is in the bedroom."

Together, they made their way to the bedroom, Sirius studiously avoiding looking at Lily. He had thought it was impossible to be any more unstrung than he already was, but fate seemed to be adamant at proving him wrong. Lily had got back her memories. She was back to perfectly normal. She didn't even remember the interactions with him over the holidays, so he didn't have to worry about how things would be when she met James. His job was finally done. Then why wasn't he feeling the relief that should be washing through him? Why did he feel empty, hollow, as if the result had somehow ripped something that was as important as his life force from him? His own house felt alien to him as he walked to his bedroom. He felt as if he was walking as a shell, mechanically, while inside, he was falling apart.

Together, Lily and he walked into the bedroom. It was then that he had a most familiar voice calling from the shelf.

"Padfoot!" James Potter's voice called from the two way mirror. "Padfoot!"

The fact that has best friend was finally reaching out to him should have been a source of joy to him, but if anything, Sirius felt more than slightly irked.

He weaved his way to the shelf and plucked down the mirror, which had been a chief helper in their pranks and a mode of communication during the long holidays when Sirius used to be holed up in his house. It was what had kept him sane in his family's company; it was what had strengthened their bonds of friendship beyond the imaginable. But now, staring at the glass, Sirius could feel all the work of the past six years breaking apart. Both James and he himself felt like criminals to him at the same time.

"James," he said, and the bespectacled face of his best friend materialised in the glass instead of his own face.

"Sirius!" James' face split in a manic grin as he saw his friend.

"Prongs," Sirius acknowledged, managing to pull up a smile, "About time you finally showed up."

"Sorry." James mussed up his hair apologetically. "I had been dying to talk to you all this time, knowing how bored you might get with no company. But I never got the time! Whenever I try to get to the mirror, Mum drags me away, to dress up or help with the decorations and what not. Gosh, that was a hell of a wedding. By Merlin's smelliest socks, when _I_ marry, we're going to have none of this nonsense. Just do the vows, kiss the bride, then go to a pub for a drink, alright?"

Sirius couldn't help laugh a little at his friend's earnest ranting. "Okay, Prongs," he chuckled. "You're forgiven."

All the while, Lily had been looking on at the exchange with wide eyes. Now she pushed over to Sirius' side. "You can talk to James through a _mirror_?"

"Is that Lily there?" James' eyes lit up, and then narrowed playfully. "What have you been doing with my girlfriend, Black?"

"I got bored. You weren't there to entertain me, so I stole you girlfriend instead," Sirius shrugged nonchalantly, careful not to show how deep the truth of that statement ran.

Lily peeked into the mirror from the side. "Hey, James!"

"Lily!" James suddenly looked flushed and breathless. "How've you been?"

"Just fine," Lily smiled with a blush equalling her boyfriend. "Missed you."

"I missed you more," James grinned. Sirius was about to quip something about getting them a room when he suddenly said, "Hey, said what, why don't you drop by at the Leaky Cauldron? We only just came home, so I'm free for the day while Mum checks upon the house. We could spend the afternoon together."

Lily nodded eagerly. Sirius, knowing that he didn't have much choice in the matter, said, "Alright, we'll be there in half an hour."

James closed the view, beaming.

Lily began to rummage in her trunk for a dress, her entire being exuding eagerness and excitement. Sirius forced himself not to think about it, or to look at her at all.

-o0o-

The Leaky Cauldron was as crowded as ever when Lily and Sirius entered the pub. Sirius had held Lily's hand as their made their way through the main street, and Lily hadn't protested, the memory of her attack still fresh on her mind. But as soon as they entered the Leaky Cauldron, Lily let it go.

James was sitting at one of the tables near a corner. He waved them over. As soon as Lily was within reach, he grabbed her and pulled her into a hug, and then pecked her on the cheek.

"Hey," he murmured into her ear.

"Hey," Lily whispered back, blushing. The very image of two people very much in love.

"Sirius!" James, beaming, rushed over to him and gave him a one-armed hug. "How have things been?"

"Just as they are," Sirius forced a grin. "Fit and fine." His insides were tightening uncomfortably. The three of them sat down, Lily beside James and Sirius on the other side of the table.

"Sirius just helped me get back my memories," Lily looked between the two friends, smiling.

"What? How? What happened?" James' eyes were as wide as saucers.

Lily told him all about the events that happened, as much as she remembered, that is.

"Why didn't you tell me?" James looked at Sirius accusingly at the end of the story.

"I didn't think that the knowledge that your new girlfriend has no memory of you would suit you very well during the wedding," Sirius told him honestly. "I was responsible for it all, so I took it on myself to solve the problem."

James' frown melted into a grateful smile. "Thanks, Padfoot," he said. "You are a life-saver." Then he looked at Lily. "I am so glad you are okay." And the two melted into a deep, passionate kiss, right before Sirius' eyes.

 _Oh, get a room, you two_ — that was the thing Sirius was supposed to say, and make a gagging noise. But the sight of Lily gripping James' hair, of her lips caressing his, made a white hot streak of jealousy swamp him. Without warning, his hands clenched into fists, twitching to reach James' face. He could feel himself trembling slightly as all the negativity that he was feeling towards James and all the possessiveness that he was feeling for Lily crashed into him. He couldn't take it any more; he stood up abruptly.

The couple broke apart at his sudden movement. They looked at him curiously.

"You okay, Padfoot?" James asked, his voice laced with concern. "You look — odd."

Sirius focused on deep breathing, trying to calm himself. In, out, in, out. Focus. Calm down.

"Yeah," he said finally. "I just — remembered, I have to return the Pensive to Dumbledore. It's a device to hot through memories," he explained at James' puzzled look. "Tell you about it later." Enjoy yourselves, he wanted to say, but the words stuck in his throat, so he simply nodded, and practically ran out of the pub.

-o0o-

Returning the Pensieve to Dumbledore had been an excuse, but it was a genuine one, and Sirius soon found himself knocking at the door in the tower which housed the headmaster's office as he had done a couple of weeks ago. At the professor's permission floating in through the door, he pushed it open and walked in.

"Mr Black." Dumbledore smiled at him, and then eyeing the Pensieve, added, "Since you still have two days to return to school, I assume from your visit that your efforts have borne fruit."

Sirius nodded, depositing the basin on the desk. "Yes, Professor. Lily got her memories back earlier this morning. Thank you very much... it would not have been possible without your help."

"I am glad to be of assistance," the old headmaster smiled benignly, even as his eyes scanned Sirius over. "But Sirius, you do not seem very happy about the developments."

Sirius looked up, startled. "I—" he paused. "Lily... she remembers her past now, but she has no memory of the last two weeks. Not that it matters, of course," he added hastily, hoping that his expression hadn't given things away. "These days... haven't been very important."

Dumbledore didn't say anything, only gravely inspected him from over his half-moon spectacles. Sirius stood in his place uncomfortably for a few seconds.

"If I am no longer needed, sir," he said at last, "May I leave?"

Dumbledore nodded. "Of course, Mr Black. We will be seeing each other again in two days."

Nodding in farewell, Sirius made his way towards the door.

"Oh, and Sirius?" Dumbledore called as Sirius opened the door. "Sometimes things go the way we don't want them to, but they often are for the greater good."

Sirius looked around to see Dumbledore looking at him with a sad smile. He left wondering how much the old man had fathomed.

-o0o-

Back at his apartment, Sirius flopped down on the couch listlessly. The place seemed so empty without Lily's presence which he had grown used to over these weeks. He vaguely wondered what Lily and James were doing now. Which proved to be a mistake.

All the sadness, the anger and the heartbreak crashed over him with a choking intensity. It seemed so unfair now — after everything they had shared, Lily remembered none of it. And James... everything Sirius had ever done for him seemed a mistake now. He wished he had not accepted Lily out of bounds when, years ago, James had marked her as his (because, after all, who was _he_ to have any right to claim her?), that he had never assisted him in his efforts to win over her. At the moment, he even resented his friendship with James Potter.

He lost track of time as he sat drowning in his negativity. Finally, he regained control over himself. What had happened to him? These weeks, they had completely changed his feelings towards his best friend. With his feelings, he'd be nothing but a barrier between Lily and James. It would serve him no good, but it would ruin their relationship, and his friendship. This could not be allowed.

His hands trembled as he made his decision. But there was no other choice; this was the only way. He conjured some paper and got his quill, and jotted down a rough sketch of what happened during the holidays. But he did not write about all the incidents with Lily that had led to to why he had bitterness in his heart for his best friend. When he was done, the account looked like nothing but interactions between two friends. He had invited her, she got hurt and lost her memories, and together, they got them back.

Then he took up his wand again, and slowly brought it to his temple, recalling all those happenings with Lily. Why was it so easy? He could see them before his eyes, as fresh as if they had happened mere hours ago...

 _He is dancing in the drawing room with her, her long, delicate fingers on his shoulders and occasionally brushing against his chest. Her smile is so warm, and her laughter delightful as he twirls her around... She sits by his side, telling him in a burst of painful honesty how she is even ready to leave her memories behind if he accepts her love, and his heart aches as he rejects her, knowing that he has no other choice..._

 _Her face is so close to her, her deep green eyes shining with desire, drawing him in, and her lips are so soft, her fingers deft and confident as he pushes her down to unbutton his shirt and he wants to tell her how none of all the girls at Hogwarts had elicited these feelings in him, but he is simply past thinking... Her eyes are sad as she begs for another kiss from him, one last kiss, and he can feel his heart breaking because even as he peppers her lips with kisses, he doesn't want any of them to be her last, he wants this to go on and on and on forever..._

As the wand dug into his skin, Sirius felt the realisation slip through the hoards of memories, and a lone tear made its way down his cheek.

He loved Lily Evans. He was in love with her. With all his heart and soul.

But he knew his destiny wasn't with her. He would never be with her, _could_ never be with her, not without betraying his closest friend, which he would never do. No, he would be a brother and best friend to them both, the best man on their wedding and a godfather to their child, happy at their happiness, the loyal friend. And so these memories couldn't stay. Lily had forgotten what had happened between them, he would too.

"Obliviate."

-The End -

* * *

 **And so it ends. I had never intended to deviate from canon, hence the ending. I hope you liked it. It has been a great ride with you guys. Thank you, all! Bye bye :)**


End file.
